In response to a brother who felt he was overlooked when a new bishop was called

Brother (name),

Thank you for sharing so openly your feelings. You may find interesting that Bishop (name) was experiencing similar impressions at the same time you were.The only answer I have as to why you were both received such middle-of-the-night promptings (and maybe there were others) is that those feelings were very real and the Lord was not playing games…but His timing is not always our timing. 

I’m grateful your sadness and hurt will be short lived. I have been grateful, too, over the years that they’ve been short-lived. I can think of one calling that both my wife and I received separate similar, unmistakeable promptings about a calling that I was to receive. We seldom spoke of it, but when she mentioned it once, I replied that I thought it was meant for the next life (not knowing if there are any church callings in the next life…but if the missionary work is organized as per D&C 138, there must be some type of leadership callings there). Instead, much to my surprise, the call came nearly 30 years later.

So I know well the feelings of “why did I receive that prompting?” or “did I let the Lord down by not being worthy?” or “was I just imagining things, did my ego get the best of me?”

I hope this is somewhat helpful. Again, thank you for not letting this weigh you down or keep you from moving forward in faith. You are a man of great stature, leadership and faithfulness and the Lord will continue to honor you with the choicest of blessings and opportunities to serve Him and His children.

Crismon

Guidelines to bishops when false doctrine is taught from the pulpit or in classrooms

Bishops and Branch Presidents,

You may be aware of a buzz on social media about a 12-year-old girl, who in her ward’s testimony meeting in Utah last month, announced she was lesbian. It made the news when the mic was turned off and she was apparently told—kindly—by the presiding authority (supposedly the 1st Counselor in the stake presidency) to stop reading her written testimony. Then he asked the leader next to him (likely the bishop), to bear his testimony.

http://www.cnn.com/2017/06/19/us/coming-out-as-mormon-and-gay-trnd/index.html

You can see the full incident on a variety of YouTube sites, including this one:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s7BK1ZywYH0

I’m sharing this as a timely reminder of the position we are in to protect the pulpit when we preside in all church meetings, especially testimony meetings. On the whole, we have been blessed with wonderful, uplifting and faith-filled testimonies in our stake. But there can be times when someone decides to use the “open mic” to promote an agenda, as was this case in Utah.

Hindsight is always 20/20. You have to feel for the priesthood leaders, who obviously were blindsided by what appears to be a “set up” of sorts (why else would someone have been making a video of it?). We’ll all likely have differing opinions as to how priesthood leaders should have handled this. 

It’s a timely reminder for all of us that Handbook 2, 5.5.1 states that the bishopric “direct(s) the ward council’s efforts to ensure that teaching in the ward is edifying and doctrinally correct."

May I use this incident as a reminder to all of us that one of the "unwritten rules" in addressing these awkward situations, in my opinion, is two-fold: 

1. When someone teaches false or misleading doctrine it should be corrected by the presiding authority as soon as possible in the same meeting or soon thereafter.

2. When someone abuses the privilege of speaking or teaching, either over the pulpit or in a classroom, such as telling inappropriate stories or “faith-promoting rumors,” dominating the meeting or discussion, taking the meeting or classroom in an inappropriate direction, etc. we should take the person aside later and teach them privately as to what is and isn’t appropriate in church meetings.

If you find yourself in a similar situation as what happened in Utah (and the possibility increases as activist groups become more vocal) my recommendation is that:

• You NOT turn off the mic or stop them, to avoid confrontation, unless the person is violent, belligerent or you think it’s going to go on and on;

• Then the presiding authority stand and offer, as kindly as possible, a testimony explaining the correct doctrine (President Boyd K. Packer was famous for saying something like, “I’m sure Brother (so-and-so) meant to say…”) and reminding members of the purpose of a testimony meeting and what is an appropriate testimony;

• When it appears the person is going to go on-and-on or the person is declaring wildly false doctrine, then it may be appropriate (as the Spirit prompts) for the presiding authority to stand up next to the person at the pulpit and simply remind him or her and everyone in the audience that an appropriate testimony is to include bearing a personal witness that Jesus Christ is our Savior and other truths that have been taught by the prophets, both ancient and modern.

I remind you that the safety guidelines from the Church states that when a vocal intruder tries to disrupt the meeting (like walking down the aisle yelling), the presiding authority may simply stand and close the meeting, asking everyone to return home immediately. It does happen. There was just such an incident a few months ago in the Gresham Stake.

Brethren, I don’t pretend to have all the answers. Feel free to reply to myself, to the presidency or to ALL if you feel to offer additional insights or suggestions on how presiding authorities should handle these awkward, even delicate, situations.

Thank you for your faithful service and your willingness to protect the pulpit while kindly encouraging and teaching members how not to abuse the sacred privilege of speaking freely in Lord’s true church.

President Lewis

The role of senior adults in a YSA Ward or Branch

Email sent to the Mount Hood YSA Branch President Trent Westover about the role of senior adults assigned to or visiting a Young Single Adult Ward or Branch.


13 June 2017

President Westover,

With the change happening in your branch presidency this Sunday, this may be a good time to privately or quietly visit with the senior adults attending your branch and helping them to understand their role.

In my opinion, senior adults have somewhat of a delicate balance to maintain in a YSA branch—be engaged yet not dominate, serve yet not take away service opportunities from the young branch members.

As we’ve visited your branch, we have noticed that there are some senior adults who, in their eagerness to “mentor” young people, have a tendency to dominate the discussion in gospel classes. It’s all well-intentioned, breaking the awkward silence for the teachers or wanting to share the depth of their gospel understanding, but it also denies the young people the opportunity to grow through participation in gospel discussions.

I’m taking the liberty of sharing below an email I felt I needed to send to all the senior adults attending the Mount Hood YSA Ward when I was bishop…when we struggled with the same problem of senior adults answering questions in the classroom too quickly and too often.

Please don’t forward this to others, but feel free to draw from it, if you feel of value, to help teach the senior adults in your branch to understand their proper role in a YSA unit. We leave it totally to your discretion if you choose to even address the matter quietly with the senior adults attending your branch.

I hope this is helpful,

President Lewis

19 February 2011

To: All "senior adults" who attend or visit the Mt Hood YSA Ward

Dear wonderful leaders, wives and visitors...

Thank you for being a part of our ward when you attend or visit. Your wisdom and experience are invaluable to our young members.

You may have noticed that we have some what of an "experiment" going on the Mt Hood YSA Ward. We are working hard to create an environment of love, acceptance, testimony-building, gospel-learning...an experience that will sink deep into these young members' hearts and sustain them through the coming years ultimately resulting in families of righteousness.

You've noticed in our temple experience that two of the Lord's most effective teaching tools are: (1) gospel learning under the influence of the Holy Ghost; and (2) participatory learning. Consequently, our greatest desire, as a bishopric, is to create an environment in the ward where the Spirit of the Lord is manifest in abundance and where every young person becomes involved in the gospel-learning process.

To that end...

...the bishopric (and other senior adults) seldom speak in sacrament meeting so every young member of the ward has an opportunity to speak and pray at least once a year;

...ALL ward callings, except for the bishop and his counselors, are filled by young single adults (we ask senior adults to accept shadow, advisory assignments only);

...we have at least 7 Sunday School classes, all taught by YSA who rotate in and out relatively often in hopes every member of the ward eventually has an opportunity to teach the gospel in a classroom setting;

...our Sunday School classes are purposely small so every member, arranged in a semi-circle, will be encouraged to become involved in the classroom discussion and have the opportunity to speak by the power of the Holy Ghost as they share feelings in the classroom.

Again, we are so grateful to have you wonderful senior adults attend with us. We especially appreciate it when you are slow to answer questions in the classroom. Silence in the classroom can be golden. It can help teachers learn how to ask better questions (feeling questions instead of knowledge questions) and/or learn to call on students by name to respond instead of asking for volunteers. Silence can help students begin to ponder and internalize the questions. It can help students seek for guidance on how the question applies to them and how they might respond.

So we appreciate very much when you do not dominate discussions or answer questions quickly so the teachers will not look to you for answers and the students will take "ownership" of  the discussion.

As senior adults, there are a number of things we CAN DO in the classroom to help enhance the young people's participatory learning experience:

1. If the teacher does not validate each comment with a "thank you" or "that's great insight" then we encourage you to quietly, but clearly, give some type of audible or body-language appreciation or encouragement that the comment just shared was worthwhile and welcomed (nothing encourages future participation in a discussion more than validation from someone else that a comment was heard and appreciated);

2. When the teacher is struggling to engender student participation, we can ask feeling questions that will help open up a discussion in the classroom; it's appropriate to encourage the teacher NOT to answer your question but turn to the class for responses;

3. We can share our scriptures or manuals with those who may have forgotten to bring them to class;

4. If the class discussion begins to go sideways into the "mysteries," we can help bring the class discussion back to the manual by asking appropriate questions.

5. We can silently pray for a teacher who is struggling...or for a student who is not participating;

6. We can reference a scripture or two that may encourage the class to follow your lead and seek answers to the teacher's questions in the scriptures;

7. After the class we can shake everyone's hand, especially the teacher, and express our appreciation for their comments or lesson.

Thank you again for the wonderful contribution you make in our ward by accepting a shadow role, quietly blessing these marvelous young people through your examples of gospel love and example.

Gratefully,

Bishop Lewis

Trying to resolve an impasse in feelings of a wife whose husband was subject to a disciplinary council and the outcome, in her opinion, was not harsh enough

7 June 2017

Thank you for being candid and helping me to understand your feelings. And thank you for asking the question, “Do I sustain my priesthood leaders?”

A week or so ago, Vivienne and I attended a middle school play of “Fiddler on the Roof.” Our grandson was the tailor :) We heard again, although pretty amateurish, Tevye and Golda sing “Do you love me?” It is a delight to see how, in their reflective mood, they discover they really do love each other even though they had seldom, if ever, expressed it.

I think sometimes our sustaining of leaders is like that. We have a way of overlooking the faults and weaknesses of leaders and realize our life was full of sustaining Church leaders because we love and sustain God.

So do you sustain your leaders? I encourage you to answer these questions:

If your bishop or one of his counselors asked you to speak in sacrament meeting, would you accept?

If you were not in a stake calling and your bishop or one of his counselors asked you to teach a Sunday School or Primary class, would you accept?

If your bishop or one of his counselors asked you to take a meal to a sister who just had a baby, would you do it?

If your bishop or one of his counselors asked you to help financially support yet another missionary because his family couldn’t afford to fully support him, would you contribute?

If your bishop or one of his counselors asked you to participate in a community service project, would you go?

I can’t imagine you couldn’t answer yes to all of the questions above. Your are that good and that faithful.

You would do it NOT because they're amazing, wonderful men in the bishopric, but because you know and love the Lord…and you believe He directs this Church through prophets and priesthood leaders. So while local leaders (and sometimes even general Church leaders) may make mistakes, you trust that the Lord will “fix” their errors (“stand behind them”) over time. In my years in the Church, I have noticed He does that in a number of ways: (1) the leaders are released; (2) the Lord brings to their attention the error of their ways; (3) the Lord softens the hearts of those who were offended or harmed by their decisions and turns the wrong into a right….often a valuable life lesson that becomes a blessing in the life of that person; (4) He brings healing, if not resolution, over time. I’m sure there are other ways, too.

I hope this is helpful. Please consider renewing your recommend right away. In my opinion, you sustain your leaders…and therefore, should not go a day without that cherished temple recommend!

Crismon

6 June 2017

Thank you. 

Therefore, can you not in good conscience answer the temple recommend question that you do sustain local priesthood leaders? In other words, you do sustain your leaders…you don’t agree with them 100% of the time and you;re confused sometimes by their choices or even their words (maybe even teachings), but  you still can raise your hand in a sustaining vote because you know this is the Lord’s true Church and, whether or not we like them or agree with them, the local priesthood leaders are His representatives in that true Church, even though they may be weak, mistake-prone, insensitive, and maybe even misguided at times. But still they are His representatives and you trust that, in the end, the Lord will stand behind those leaders and resolve all unresolved challenges and even the mistakes that they may have created in your life.

In my opinion you sustain your local priesthood leaders, even though you have concerns and questions. Therefore, my recommendation is that we move forward on a temple recommend renewal and take it out of the equation and discussion so you aren’t feeling pressure or worrisome that you may say or do something that could deny you a recommend, which you cherish very much.

Once your temple recommend has been renewed, then let’s schedule in July or maybe even later, if you think time would help bring healing in the matter, when the three of us (as you suggested) can sit down and discuss this further. Of course, if you prefer to address this sooner to bring peace sooner, then we can meet as soon as you’re available and Bishop Miller has returned.

Would that be OK?

Thanks for considering,

PrL

I guess I felt reflective and was trying to be honest with my feelings in the temple recommend interview which was probably not the case at ward conference.  Sustained them in ward conference more out of habit I suppose without thinking about how I really felt.  It certainly feels in my heart like I am struggling with sustaining my local leaders.  Really what does that entail? What does it look like?  You have shared some things that maybe it is not..agreeing with them, may not personally like them etc which is helpful.  I do trust that the Lord will resolve mistakes that they may have created in my life, but what do you mean when you say “the Lord will stand behind those leaders”? What does sustaining someone truly look like?

I do feel I need to be able to attend the temple.  I do cherish that privilege, but I am certainly not going to try and justify my feelings to be able to do so.  Maybe a clearer understanding of what it means to "sustain" would be helpful. I haven’t done much in the way of studying that on my own yet as I really only recently started questioning my honesty with the question. It has not ever been a question of doubt for me before.

Much thanks,

Sister (Name)

5 June 2017

Sister (name),

Thank you for getting back to me.

When does your current temple recommend expire?

Are you willing to meet with me, Bishop (name) and (husband) upon the Bishop’s return in mid-June or do you feel you need more time to work this though in your own mind and heart?

If the former (meet with us), have you given consideration what we might do or say that would help lessen your pain?

If the latter (more time), do you have any feeling as to how long that might take?

Please know how deeply we feel over the feelings we’ve unwittingly and unintentionally caused in your heart. You were the “victim,” yet you continue to suffer, for which we sorrow greatly. We had no idea it would cause such feelings in your heart. I don’t know if anything would have been done differently had we known, but hopefully we would have tried to better address your feelings before moving forward. For such insensitivity on our part, we beg your forgiveness.

We would welcome any thoughts on what we might do at this point to bring peace to your heart. 

As I’ve expressed earlier, we feel correct procedures were taken in (husband)’s case and I know the Bishop tried very much to follow the Spirit in how to put your husband on the path to full and complete repentance. For clarification, in my opinion, the role of priesthood leaders is not to declare he is forgiven, but to put him on the path of repentance (after a sincere demonstration of a changing heart) so he can ultimately enjoy peace and joy again as he works to restore trust with you and the Lord. If we failed in this, again please forgive us. But we REALLY tried to do what is right and in the right way.

Priesthood leaders are not infallible, as you know. All we can do is do our very best to be in tune and follow the promptings we receive. Sometimes we don’t receive strong, compelling direction from the Lord. We then listen for the subtle manifestations of peace; I call it a “settled feeling” among those on the council after sincere and deep deliberation and prayer. 

After all of that, we must rely on the Lord to either validate our action through the resultant “fruit” in the life of the person repenting or to have presented to us evidence from the Lord or others that we made a mistake and must correct our mistake, including possibly revisiting the decision. The latter has not happened in (husband)’s case, as far as I know.

If you have additional evidence that (husband) is truly not walking the path to complete repentance, then it wold be good for all of us to visit, as you suggested. But it does mean you must decide if it is proper for you to place yourself in a position of being his judge, which carries a heavy responsibility, even burden, whenever any of us choose—or are placed in a position--to judge another.

From our perspective, we plead with you that you not seek to judge him (as to whether he’s repenting at the pace or in the ways you feel is needed), but help him. He needs your help. His ward calling, access to the Holy Ghost, the temple, his personal scripture study and prayer, and the family’s forgiveness are all “tools” the Lord uses to help bring about the change of heart that (husband) desires and needs to be trusted again by you, priesthood leaders and the Lord.

It is important to me that we resolve this, if possible, soon so (1) you can feel joy and peace again in your marriage and family, and (2) so you can continue to be the role model for the young women in our stake by holding a current temple recommend.

I look forward to receiving answers to the above questions and your counsel as to how we proceed from here.

Gratefully,

President Lewis

P.S. I sincerely hope I have not said anything above that is offensive or insensitive. I suppose you and I have had this conversation before. And it seems we’re at some type of impasse. I really do want to help you feel peace again and welcome your thoughts on what we might do to resolve this.

President Lewis

I am glad he called someone.  His demeanor indicated that he was issuing something that he felt uncomfortable doing.  I told him it would be okay with me to wait until he talked to someone, however he ultimately went ahead and issued it.  Honestly, I wouldn’t have known what to do either.

I am sure that he indicated that I was struggling with sustaining my local authorities.  That answer will not change as I am figuring out how to resolve that in my heart when I have been so deeply hurt (unintentionally I realize) by those involved in Ralph’s disciplinary counsel.  

Yes, it would be more comfortable for you to conduct my temple recommend interview, however if issues of my feelings need to be resolved before one is issued, I am not prepared to do that at this time.  For that I will probably need to meet together with (husband), you and Bishop Miller when I am ready or allow enough time to pass and through continued prayer hope that the pain will lesson.  If we can conclude the temple recommend interview process without discussing the disciplinary issues, than I can meet on Thursday evening or Sunday after church, otherwise it will be July before I can schedule something.

Sister (Name)

Sister (name),

I visited with briefly with (bishop's counselor) and he wasn’t real sure what to do when he conducted his interview with you for your temple recommend renewal. I’m glad he signed it.

Would you not mind meeting with me for an interview to complete your recommend?

I’ll do my best to accommodate your schedule. You can either respond to this email with a couple of days/times that work for you or schedule though Brother Allen.

Thanks,

Pres Lewis