Subject: I was awakened in the night...
Dear Bishop (Name) and Brother (Name),
You both have asked to be excused from our Stake Priesthood Leadership meeting this evening—a meeting that has been on the calendar for more than six months. Both of you have suggested that last-minute or at least recent family conflicts have taken priority over our stake meeting. We realize this is a busy time for busy families and I apologize for that. As you’ve found in your ward scheduling efforts, there are no dates that are convenient for everyone.
However, I awoke early this morning with some thoughts that I feel I need to share with both of you.
Let me begin by telling you of an experience I had nearly 30 years ago.
At the time I was serving as a counselor in the Gresham 3rd Ward bishopric (now Walters Hill) and Vivienne was serving in the Primary. There was an upcoming Stake Auxiliary training meeting that we were both expected to attend. We had seven children at home, several of them very young. I felt strongly one of us should stay home. I had had been able to attend many stake meetings and so I called Keith Hansen who was my counterpart in the stake presidency, to ask that he excuse me to be with our children so my wife could attend the stake meeting. I won’t give you the entire gentle lecture I got over the phone, but he taught me quite bluntly about priorities—that the family doesn’t always come first. There are times, especially in Church leadership, when we are asked to sacrifice, even “forsake…brethren, or sisters, or father, or mother, or wife, or children…for my name’s sake.” (Matthew 19:29).
As then-President Hansen helped me understand that this was not about a meeting. For instance, I suspect if we had announced that President Nelson or a member of the Twelve would be conducting our training tonight you both would have found a way to attend. This is not about a meeting, but about priorities.
As you know, the Lord is very clear about priorities, that we are to put Him first (Matthew 22:37-39). Your struggle as to where you shroud be tonight is the same struggle many members face when trying to decide whether to go to the temple or not; consistently something pops up that gives a reason—sometimes a very good reason—not to attend. It’s the same battle members fight on Sunday mornings when they’re trying to decide whether to attend Church or join in a family gathering. You sit on the stand and cry inside for them because of lost blessings from misplaced priorities.
Sometimes prioritizing gets even tougher when called into leadership and we willingly accept a higher level of responsibility and obligation--there are so many "good vs. good" decisions. Again the Lord is very clear that if we’ll sacrifice for Him (i.e. put Him above family), we have the promise He’ll make it up to us. He even quantifies it as a “hundred fold” (Matthew 19:29).
Brethren, I know this is not what you wanted to hear from me. I love you both and appreciate greatly the many hours you put in to serve and bless our ward and our family. And I hope what I’ve shared is not offensive. But it was made known to me early this morning that I needed to share these feelings with you.
I ask both of you to re-consider your decision and be where you should be tonight.
President Lewis
