My story of when I faced a faith crisis while on my mission in South America

Dear amazing, wonderful children…

Mother and I send our heartfelt love for each of you and express our deepest gratitude on this Thanksgiving Day for your faithful dedication to living the gospel of Jesus Christ.

I have felt to share with you a personal experience that includes a 7-page letter that I received from my father when I faced a faith crisis while on my mission. I’ll let you decide when to share both of these letters with your children, if at all. 

A number of friends and stake members are facing challenges to their testimonies today. I hope the attached letters will be a blessing to you and your family should the need ever arise in your home.

With love and gratitude,

Dad Lewis

Thanksgiving 2019

Dear Children and Grandchildren,

Recently in my personal study I have found my heart turning to the growing number of friends who are questioning their own  testimonies because of concerns about Church history or even some doctrines.

You may not be aware that your father (grandfather) also underwent a faith crisis.

It happened in the summer of 1968. I was 19 years old and had been called to the Andes Mission departing in February 1968. After three months in the Language Training Mission (MTC today), eight or so of us elders flew from Salt Lake City via Chicago and Miami to Lima, Peru. My first assignment was to Guayaquil, Ecuador arriving in late May or early June.

Within 2-3 months my testimony was shaken.

A young man in our small Guayaquil Branch asked my companion and I if we could administer to his non-member uncle, who was seriously ill in the hospital. It threw me into a bit of a panic. I was still very much struggling with the Spanish language and, while I had seen an administration of the sick on a variety of occasions, I had never participated in giving such a blessing. In those days, you received the Melchizedek Priesthood and subsequently endowed in the temple only a few days before departing on your mission.

So I quickly memorized my part of the administration (anointing of the oil) in spanish and we proceeded to the hospital. Afterwards as we came out I told my companion, “Wouldn’t it be wonderful if he were healed and his family came into the Church?” 

My enthusiasm was dashed three days later when our young branch member informed us that his uncle had died.

I was personally devastated and began to question everything about my faith. A few days later I wrote my father a letter asking, “What happened? I thought this Melchizedek Priesthood was supposed to help, even heal, people?”

In short, I let him know I wanted to come home if I couldn’t reconcile some things in my heart about this Church, the gospel, administration of the sick, and even why I was on a mission.

For history’s sake, and in hopes it may benefit you if the need should arise, I am enclosing a copy of my father’s tender, seven-page letter that “rescued” me personally and kept me on the mission.

His words of counsel set me on a course of deep gospel study and personal prayer...constantly looking for the Lord’s hand in my life—evidence that He was really there and cared that I was on a mission.

The answers have come over a lifetime of waiting upon the Lord with many subtle impressions, the unmistakable feeling of His arms around me in difficult times, and a few rare occasions where I had what you might call a “bonfire” experience.

One of those significant turning points came a year after my faith crisis. I was still on my mission now serving in the mission home in Lima, Peru as the Andes Mission Public Affairs director. I regularly drafted news releases in Spanish about an open house or other event. Routinely I would add a paragraph or two at the bottom of the news release something to the effect that “the Mormon Church was the only church with 12 living Apostles” or some other distinguishing characteristic of our faith in hopes it would make it into print and reach a reader seeking truth.

This one time I decided to share the story about the First Vision at the end of the news release. As I always did before, I took my final draft into the mission president for him to review my Spanish grammar and vocabulary before copying and distributing to the media.

As I returned from the mission president’s office, for whatever reason, I decided to re-read the news release to myself one more time. As I read the story of the First Vision—a story I had told countless times by memory—the Spirit came over me and in an indescribable way “transported” me to that magnificent  moment in a sacred grove. I’m not suggesting I saw the Father and the Son, but suddenly I was on very sacred ground and I knew that the First Vision truly happened just as Joseph had described it.

I still don’t have all the answers that caused me to question my testimony, but I know with all my heart that our Father in Heaven has the answers and, if I continue to trust in Him and His timetable, all things will be made known to me to my full satisfaction.

For I know He lives and loves us; as does His Only Begotten Son, our Savior. And They have established Their Church on the Earth today with Prophets and Apostles (even with mortal flaws) to guide us back to the safety of our Heavenly Home.

If you also find yourself struggling, will you please lean on my testimony and patiently wait on the Lord? I promise you the answers will come and He will convey to your heart enough assurance that you, too, will know what is true and real.

With the deepest of love and affection for each of you,

Your loving father and grandfather Crismon S. Lewis

Acquainting bishops with gender dysphoria and gender confusion and what to do when it arises among youth

25 November 2019

Bishops and Branch Presidents,

Gender confusion (aka gender dysphoria—defined as a dissatisfaction with life) can be very confusing indeed.

Sadly, it is quite popular in some schools. 

In fact, it’s not unusual for youth to be told by friends at school that they need to make a decision about their gender—everyone else is having to decide. Are you bi-sexual, trans, queer? Not only is the whole question bizarre to our generation, there are now laws protecting those who choose to act on their gender dissatisfaction.

While we don’t feel gender dysphoria is so prevalent that it merits a stake devotional to teach parents, we suggest bishops and branch presidents get acquainted with the subject so you can address it when it surfaces among your youth.

LDS Family Services recommends that, when a young person brings it up, bishops should not try to address it but simply (1) acknowledge with sympathy. 

You might say something like this: “I’m sorry you’ve been wrestling with this matter. It must have been painful to keep this to yourself for so long.” 

And then follow that up with: “There are professionals in the Church who can help us understand gender dysphoria and how to help you. Would it be OK if we visited with your parents and then help you and them learn more at LDS Family Services?"

Recently LDS Family Services conducted training on gender dysphoria. I attended it along with a number of others from our stake. Attached is a 2-page document with highlights from the training. This is not mean to be the final word on the subject or even training on gender dysphoria, but hopefully these training notes will be of help in your understanding.

If you would like additional training on the subject, please let me know privately and the stake presidency will consider arranging for Matthew Scott, manager of the local LDS Family Services office, to conduct a presentation to leaders and others in our stake.

We hope this is helpful.

President Lewis

Gender Dysphoria

Highlights from LDS Family Services training

Some key points from training conducted by LDS Family Services on Nov 12:

PRESSURE IN SCHOOL: It’s very common for youth to have friends in school who will come to them, even at a young age, and say something like: “Hey, what’s your gender identify? Everyone is making that decision and you need to, too.” That’s one way youth can begin to wonder if they were born in the wrong body.

FEELING SHAME: Those in the Church, who are wrestling with their gender identity, are being told by friends in the LBGT community things like: “Your family and church won’t understand your feelings, if you tell them how you feel. They’ll stop loving you.” So we are to constantly give assurance that our love will never end because of issues like this. We do not want to “fix” them but help them deal with it. 

ADDRESSING THOSE FEELINGS: Telling a young person “It’s OK to be gay, just don’t act on it” or “pray away the gay.” These statements are harmful and only cause more shame. Instead, give assurance that we love them and will do all we can to help them. Let’s go together to LDS Family Services and learn together.

THERAPISTS HANDS ARE TIED: Oregon law (and the laws in many other states) ban therapists from trying to change anyone who declares they are dealing with gender dysphoria. Therapists must, by law, affirm and acknowledge that the feelings are real. LDS Family Services usually approaches it by attempting to identify depression, anxiety or relationship issues, which are often the root cause of gender confusion issues. Conversion therapy of any sort is absolutely banned.

INTERNET CONCERNS: We can help parents understand that unlimited access to the Internet is often at the root of gender dysphoria. When youth can access LGBT websites, it’s easy for them to become obsessed with gender issues. And for reasons of fear and shame, they may not tell anyone but obsess in silence leading to depression and anxiety, among other emotional issues. It’s vital that parents monitor their children’s access to the Internet and social media.

PARENT-CHILD RELATIONSHIPS: The parent-child relationship and communication is key to helping young people deal with gender dysphoria. Parents who do not panic, but show unconditional love will be the greatest help to their children struggling with gender confusion.

FROM A MEMBER IN OUR STAKE WHO ALSO ATTENDED:

IT’S ABOUT LOVE: Be understanding and show acceptance.  Love them anyway! Each individual is a beloved child of Heavenly Parents who know that individual's eternal plan-—and we don't.

DON’T JUDGE: Be kind, don't judge, and meet the individual where they are at.  We may be the first (and only) person they talk with about their struggles.

NO LABELS: Don't label, and encourage the individual to not label themselves.The worldly approach is to label, while Heavenly Father's approach is individualized and with an eternal perspective. The individual (and those around them) need time to prayerfully come to understand who they are and Heavenly Father's individual plan for them. This may be a years-long, or even life-long, process.

BE CLEAR: We are still developing the words to describe all of this, and these words can mean different things to different groups and individuals. It’s common in the church to use the term 'same-gender attraction' to describe the individual's mortal challenge, and we should do the same. The world uses labels as 'gay' and 'LGBTQ' to describe both a sexual orientation and a lifestyle. I believe one can live with 'same-gender attraction' sexual orientation and not lead a 'gay' lifestyle.  I also have known same-gender couples that don't appear 'gay'.

MISUNDERSTANDINGS: Science is trying to catch up and it is years behind. In many cases what is known may be ignored and/or misconstrued by lawmakers and activists to achieve their own goals. This can be seen in laws limiting a professional (physical and mental) health care provider's ability to discuss care while being legally forced to support a minor's self-diagnosed gender dysphoria. We are working and living in an imperfect environment trying to make informed choices based on a lack of information.  

3 TYPES OF DYSPHORIA: It is not well known but there are three different types of dysphoria. It can make a big difference talking about them. Each one is so different, and their symptoms and needs are just as varied.

MIXED MESSAGES: Other mental and psychological needs are involved with all gender dysphoria types. These often include depression, anxiety, suicidal thoughts, self-harm, and more. Counseling should be a part of the health care as soon as possible in order to address these. However, counseling is not to “'fix” an individual because they are “broken” due to same-gender attraction.  Counseling is to help the individual develop the tools to manage the mental, emotional, and psychological challenges that are a part of it. Heavenly Father created them to be happy. They often need help in figuring out how to do that because of the mixed messages they receive (church vs. world). 

PERSPECTIVE: Work to keep an eternal perspective, and help the individual increase theirs. In other words, “Don't Give Up On Your Child”' or “Don't Give Up On That Youth!”  Telling an individual with gender dysphoria and same-gender attraction “no partner'”or “no companionship” based on the law of chastity may be obvious to the person giving the advice, but it may be too much for the individual—pushing them away from the gospel. When, given time to draw closer to Heavenly Father and gain a stronger testimony, they may come to that realization on their own and choose their own individual way to live the law of chastity.

FAMILIES: Please don't forget about the other members of the family.  They need support, too.

TRUST AND PATIENCE: Finally, trust our Heavenly Parents and our Savior to know what is best for their child regardless of age. I believe this also applies to trusting them that things will work out-somehow. Do we condemn the addict because they give in to their physical addiction?  No. Same-gender attraction is another mortal challenge to work through—not an eternal death sentence. 

Removing a Young Single Adult from the Mt Hood YSA Branch

24 November 2019

TO: Pertinent priesthood leaders

Dear Brethren,

After consultation with the stake presidency and President Lindhorst, I visited today with (parents' names) and their 23-year-old son (name) and informed him and them that his membership record will be moved to his family ward, the (Name of Family Ward) effective immediately.

I explained to (name) that membership in the Mt. Hood YSA Branch is a privilege and because of several recent incidents, he has lost the privilege of attending the YSA Branch or any of the official Church-sponsored YSA activities at the branch, stake or multi-stake level, including the YSA gatherings on weeknights for basketball and volleyball.

(Name) is allowed to continue to attend Institute, Pathway and other classes at the Gresham Institute.

I realize this is an unprecedented move, but the circumstances are such that merit this action. I explained to Justin that his service in the family ward and personal dedication to living the gospel will tell us at what point he can return to the YSA Branch, if he wishes.

I further explained to Justin that he begins today his full-time “mission”; he is to become his first “convert.”

Bishop (Name), when you return from your family vacation this week, please give me a call and I’ll give you more details. We ask that you welcome Justin back to the ward and that you promptly find a place for him to serve in the ward; he can serve in the Primary, but not with the youth.

Brother (Name), will you please move (Name)'s membership record right away or instruct a ward or branch clerk to do so?

We will draft a statement for Brother (Name) to read, on behalf of the stake presidency, to the YSA Branch leadership next Sunday announcing this action in hopes of avoiding rumors.

Gratefully,

President Lewis


ANNOUNCEMENT TO YSA BRANCH LEADERSHIP:

Dear Mount Hood YSA Branch Leaders,

We are sorry to announce that the membership record of (Name) has been moved to his home ward.

Membership in the Mount Hood YSA Branch is a privilege and because of recent incidences (name) has lost that privilege. 

Furthermore, (Name) has been asked not to attend any official Church-sponsored YSA activity, including branch, stake and multi-stake YSA activities. And he is not to attend the weeknight branch Family Home Evening or the YSA volleyball and basketball gatherings. 

He is encouraged to continue attending Pathway, Institute and any other classes at the Gresham Institute.

We want you to know that this is not an attempt to ostracize (Name) so please reach out to him and maintain your friendship. Our hope is that this period of time in the family ward will be a blessing to (Name) as he aligns his priorities and lives the gospel in a higher way.

Gratefully,
The Stake Presidency

Changes to High Council speaking assignments and Ward Conference Ministering Visits

23 November 2019

TO: Bishoprics, Branch Presidencies, Elders Quorum Presidencies and High Councilors

Dear Brethren,

In light of the emphasis of our Sake Organization Training last Tuesday and a High Councilor's recommendation, we are pleased to announce the following two important changes:

1. HIGH COUNCILORS SPEAKING: Effective January 2020, High Councilors will be assigned to speak in ward and branch sacrament meetings on the third Sunday (not the second Sunday, as in the past). This will ensure High Councilors are available to attend Elders Quorum meetings on second Sundays of the month. 

High Councilors are assigned to speak every month of 2020 except March and October. When the ward or branch conference is on the third Sunday, the High Councilor will be excused.

2. WARD CONFERENCE MINISTERING VISITS: In conjunction with ward and branch conferences, the 4-on-4 ministering visits will be principally with the elders quorum presidency and not the bishopric, as in the past. Please review the attached 2020 ward conference plans under "Ministering Visits" on page 2 for more details.

Brother Schumacher will send you separately the tentative date of when your Ward Conference Ministering Visits are scheduled.

We appreciate you adjusting your calendar and plans accordingly.

Gratefully,

The Stake Presidency