18 May 2021
Hello, (Name)…
So nice to hear from you. It’s always fun to re-connect.
I appreciate the question. I remind you that I am the father of 9 children (Vivienne and I wanted children as soon as we were married but they were slow in coming…much to our disappointment, our first didn’t come until almost 2 years after we were married). I’m also the father of a married son and his wife who have wanted children but they’ve been unable to have children naturally. Now 10 years later, and only through the miracle of In Vitro Fertilization, they are expecting their first child.
So I don’t look through the same “lens” as a young, vibrant, healthy, married couple as you two are.
But I wholeheartedly endorse the Church’s statement on birth control in the Church Handbook that states: "Those who are physically able have the blessing, joy, and obligation to bear children and to raise a family. This blessing should not be postponed for selfish reasons.”
So two principles are taught in the Handbook: (1) don’t delay for selfish reasons; and (2) it’s completely up to you two as you counsel and pray together on the matter. You’ll need to decide if your wife’s athletic pursuits are selfish or frivolous...or not. We won’t judge you or look down on you. But only share my personal feeling that despite the challenges of bearing and rearing children, the greatest joy in life is found in bearing and rearing children.
Now that I’ve seen what my son and his wife have had to go through, I openly express the opinion that I think couples should try to have children as soon as possible while they can. That day may pass them by more quickly than they imagined. We have many friends who looked to us with envy when they saw us still enjoying the blessing of children in the home when their two or three children had already left the nest and they suddenly woke up as empty nesters earlier than expected and found themselves longing for more, but now had regrets that they had delayed or prevented having as many children as they could.
I wish you well in your prayerful discussions as to priorities in life…remembering this statement in the Handbook: "Children are one of the greatest blessings in life, and their birth into loving and nurturing families is central to God’s purposes for humanity.” I don’t know they could have said it any better that child bearing is an extremely high priority in God’s Plan of Happiness.
All the best,
Crismon
