Dear Myreel, Corwin, Wick, Delon and Durelle…
I owe you an update on Duraye. Overall things are going well, I feel. Here’s a brief report…
APARTMENT: Thanks again to everyone helping so eagerly (and with so many helping hands), she was so appreciative and commented later how it all brought such happy memories of being with family. Sadly, there are still some obstacles…refrigerator just arrived today, but because there’s no 3-prong outlet where the fridge goes the fridge is temporarily plugged into the wall in the living room. Even though an adapter is fine, the landlord is sending in a handyman to install a 3-prong outlet so it’s done right. That should be the last of the handyman jobs, but because it has been 8 days to get everything done that should have been done before she moved in, we are negotiating with the landlord (94-year-old man in CA who only speaks Spanish; crazy, huh? :) to get a week of rent (about $250) knocked off the October rental payment. We’ll see…
EMPLOYMENT: She may have a job interview on Monday. I’ve tried to get her to widen her scope as far as jobs. While she feels she needs to earn $40-$50K per year, I showed her that her living expenses only require $25K or more per year…that there are many jobs that can support that income level. Going to that level of job, though, is a real downer for her personally, as it would be for any of us, and she understandably worries that going there will impact her ability to get a higher-paying job later. She makes a good point. But she very much wants and is looking for employment. She goes to a nearby Panera Bread to use wifi as she doesn’t have it in her apartment. I suggested she get acquainted with her neighbors and befriend one enough to trust her with their wifi password as she’s picking up everyone’s wifi in the complex, but of course secured. Also, she apparently has connected with Randy Daems re: resume help and I’ve passed along some thoughts from both Wick and Myreel.
CHURCH: I visited with the bishop again, after his return from watching grandchildren in MN. He said he was waiting for her membership record to arrive. I had to explain again that he won’t see a membership record, but the timing is important the Church rally around her with HT and VT, opportunities to serve, and even welfare assistance. I explained she has four key bills totaling $475 that need payment by 9/20-ish and asked if he could please meet with her soon enough to possibly assist with those. That doesn’t count food. I asked if he’d also consider a food order. Also Duraye is moving forward on food assistance (food stamps). I tried to stress with him that what she needs most right now is a friend…a single woman with whom she can “hang out.” After your wonderful experience helping her to connect with several in her home ward during the block meetings early last Sunday, Myreel and Delon, there was a pot luck (singles?) that evening. It would have been perfect for Duraye to attend and get acquainted. She told me later, “I was so tired” but then confided she didn’t have anyone to go with. So a friend is crucial right now. I hope I can get a little more enthusiasm out of the bishop, but I’m on the brink of becoming annoying already. We’ll see what happens this Sunday. I was able to get the name of the ward RS president, Mary Lou Alredge (I think :) So far, no one from the Church has reached out to Duraye this week.
PERSONALLY: She admits to being lonely, but at the same time is on the phone a lot with me and others working on getting the apartment, food stamps, resume rework, job searches, etc. worked out so she’s staying somewhat busy. I find interesting that in some ways she’s confident and on top of everything and then other times admits to being “overwhelmed” by it all. I invited her to have over-the-phone scripture study with Vivienne and I each night (we don’t get to it until 10 or 10:30 pm before retiring), but I suggested it would be a good way so she doesn’t feel too lonely. I tried to explain that it’s not about trying to “convert” her but to break up the boredom and loneliness…just to interact with someone each night. So far she hasn’t taken us up on it, but we’ll continue to text her each night to let her know she’s invited.
Our thanks to all of you. We are very close to recovering all the “first wave” of Duraye’s moving and living costs so far ($2,840); all but three of the nine of us have sent checks, which is greatly appreciated. You were all so generous. Thank you!
FYI…Stayner insisted on contributing something, but I’ve tried to discourage him because he has some huge medical bills hanging over him. He did mention, though, that most will be covered by insurance. Of course, 20% or even 5% of his doctor bills will still be astronomical.
I was going to send out an email asking you to forward to your families, encouraging everyone to reach out to her. I even hinted to her that she may start getting contacted by family. She’s OK with it, but on second thought this is a marathon, not a sprint. A “blitz” of well wishes from the family would be nice but short-lived. She’s really quite busy right now trying to get her arms around her new place and life. Too many well-wishes may just hobble her from getting some things done. For instance, Madelyn is with her today before she leaves for Utah. So instead I recommend our small group reaches out to her as often as you feel comfortable to see how she’s doing and if there’s anything we can do (as a family, not individuals) to help. Maybe around holiday time would be a better time for the family to remember her…and hopefully we can encourage some families in the Valley to reach out to her to join them for their family gatherings, as Myreel suggested. A wonderful suggestion!
I hope this is helpful. I’ll stay in touch.
Love,
Crismon & Vivienne
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