16 January 2020
Dear (name)
Our conversation earlier this week has been weighing on me. I hope I can share some feelings without offending.
I appreciate your desire to stand up for something you feel strongly about when you voted in opposition during the sustaining of stake leaders.
If I understand correctly, you believe a current stake leader once “abused" his wife (with a pornography addiction). As you’ve come to believe through your studies that such addictions cannot be overcome without professional help, that leader must still be, to some extent, an abusive husband…thus not worthy of a sustaining vote.
Would you say this is an accurate characterization?
While it may not be this simplistic, may I share the following feelings:
• Jesus commands us to judge only righteously (JST Matthew 7:1) and he cautions us that we will be judged by the same measuring standard we apply in our judgments (Matt 7:2).
• The Lord explains that we can judge a person by his or her fruit (3 Nephi 14:16) and the patterns we observe in their lives (D&C 52:14-16).
• While the world’s experts may claim that a man once addicted may never fully change, we believe that because of the Atonement and through repentance we can experience a complete change of heart (Helaman 15:7) so that through a sanctification by the Spirit we will literally abhor the sins we once embraced (Alma 13:12).
• Repeatedly the Lord declares that we must forgive to be forgiven (Mosiah 26:30-31; D&C 64:8-10; Matthew 6:14-15).
• Sometimes we feel we have forgiven someone, but cling to a feeling of distrust. The Lord told Joseph Smith that his disciples (the original 12 Apostles) may have appeared they had forgiven each other, but really hadn’t in their hearts (D&C 64:8).
In short, for you to object or vote in opposition, you are judging whether a person has repented or not. If you are aware of a grievous sin or inappropriate behavior, it is very appropriate for you and expected of you to vote in opposition and share what you know with the presiding priesthood authority. This is what you did at stake conference last March and I appreciate it. However, once you’ve shared your feelings, you now shift the burden of judging from your shoulders to the presiding authority’s shoulders.
He must answer to the Lord, not you, if the person in question has not truly repented.
From that moment on, you can sustain the person in question trusting that he or she has fully repented—a judgement only God can and will make; and makes known through those who hold priesthood keys to serve as a common judge.
Can priesthood leaders make mistakes? Yes, of course. But that becomes the leader's problem and the Lord has ways of correcting such missteps. Still, even with all of our imperfections, the Lord continues to place the burden of judging a person’s faithfulness and repentance on the shoulders of those He has called to preside. When we sustain members in callings, we are also sustaining the presiding authority's judgment…affirming that the burden is now his, a burden he shoulders at his own peril.
Therefore, I hope you’ll re-consider and sustain your stake leaders with the assurance you have fully and properly shared your concerns. In that way, all of us if ever in a state of opposition, can go forward with hope that others will be as merciful and trusting in the Lord and His leaders when our names are presented for a sustaining vote.
Again, I hope this is not offensive, (name). Please place the burden of judging on the Lord and those he has called to preside.
With love and admiration,
Crismon Lewis
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