Acquainting bishops with gender dysphoria and gender confusion and what to do when it arises among youth

25 November 2019

Bishops and Branch Presidents,

Gender confusion (aka gender dysphoria—defined as a dissatisfaction with life) can be very confusing indeed.

Sadly, it is quite popular in some schools. 

In fact, it’s not unusual for youth to be told by friends at school that they need to make a decision about their gender—everyone else is having to decide. Are you bi-sexual, trans, queer? Not only is the whole question bizarre to our generation, there are now laws protecting those who choose to act on their gender dissatisfaction.

While we don’t feel gender dysphoria is so prevalent that it merits a stake devotional to teach parents, we suggest bishops and branch presidents get acquainted with the subject so you can address it when it surfaces among your youth.

LDS Family Services recommends that, when a young person brings it up, bishops should not try to address it but simply (1) acknowledge with sympathy. 

You might say something like this: “I’m sorry you’ve been wrestling with this matter. It must have been painful to keep this to yourself for so long.” 

And then follow that up with: “There are professionals in the Church who can help us understand gender dysphoria and how to help you. Would it be OK if we visited with your parents and then help you and them learn more at LDS Family Services?"

Recently LDS Family Services conducted training on gender dysphoria. I attended it along with a number of others from our stake. Attached is a 2-page document with highlights from the training. This is not mean to be the final word on the subject or even training on gender dysphoria, but hopefully these training notes will be of help in your understanding.

If you would like additional training on the subject, please let me know privately and the stake presidency will consider arranging for Matthew Scott, manager of the local LDS Family Services office, to conduct a presentation to leaders and others in our stake.

We hope this is helpful.

President Lewis

Gender Dysphoria

Highlights from LDS Family Services training

Some key points from training conducted by LDS Family Services on Nov 12:

PRESSURE IN SCHOOL: It’s very common for youth to have friends in school who will come to them, even at a young age, and say something like: “Hey, what’s your gender identify? Everyone is making that decision and you need to, too.” That’s one way youth can begin to wonder if they were born in the wrong body.

FEELING SHAME: Those in the Church, who are wrestling with their gender identity, are being told by friends in the LBGT community things like: “Your family and church won’t understand your feelings, if you tell them how you feel. They’ll stop loving you.” So we are to constantly give assurance that our love will never end because of issues like this. We do not want to “fix” them but help them deal with it. 

ADDRESSING THOSE FEELINGS: Telling a young person “It’s OK to be gay, just don’t act on it” or “pray away the gay.” These statements are harmful and only cause more shame. Instead, give assurance that we love them and will do all we can to help them. Let’s go together to LDS Family Services and learn together.

THERAPISTS HANDS ARE TIED: Oregon law (and the laws in many other states) ban therapists from trying to change anyone who declares they are dealing with gender dysphoria. Therapists must, by law, affirm and acknowledge that the feelings are real. LDS Family Services usually approaches it by attempting to identify depression, anxiety or relationship issues, which are often the root cause of gender confusion issues. Conversion therapy of any sort is absolutely banned.

INTERNET CONCERNS: We can help parents understand that unlimited access to the Internet is often at the root of gender dysphoria. When youth can access LGBT websites, it’s easy for them to become obsessed with gender issues. And for reasons of fear and shame, they may not tell anyone but obsess in silence leading to depression and anxiety, among other emotional issues. It’s vital that parents monitor their children’s access to the Internet and social media.

PARENT-CHILD RELATIONSHIPS: The parent-child relationship and communication is key to helping young people deal with gender dysphoria. Parents who do not panic, but show unconditional love will be the greatest help to their children struggling with gender confusion.

FROM A MEMBER IN OUR STAKE WHO ALSO ATTENDED:

IT’S ABOUT LOVE: Be understanding and show acceptance.  Love them anyway! Each individual is a beloved child of Heavenly Parents who know that individual's eternal plan-—and we don't.

DON’T JUDGE: Be kind, don't judge, and meet the individual where they are at.  We may be the first (and only) person they talk with about their struggles.

NO LABELS: Don't label, and encourage the individual to not label themselves.The worldly approach is to label, while Heavenly Father's approach is individualized and with an eternal perspective. The individual (and those around them) need time to prayerfully come to understand who they are and Heavenly Father's individual plan for them. This may be a years-long, or even life-long, process.

BE CLEAR: We are still developing the words to describe all of this, and these words can mean different things to different groups and individuals. It’s common in the church to use the term 'same-gender attraction' to describe the individual's mortal challenge, and we should do the same. The world uses labels as 'gay' and 'LGBTQ' to describe both a sexual orientation and a lifestyle. I believe one can live with 'same-gender attraction' sexual orientation and not lead a 'gay' lifestyle.  I also have known same-gender couples that don't appear 'gay'.

MISUNDERSTANDINGS: Science is trying to catch up and it is years behind. In many cases what is known may be ignored and/or misconstrued by lawmakers and activists to achieve their own goals. This can be seen in laws limiting a professional (physical and mental) health care provider's ability to discuss care while being legally forced to support a minor's self-diagnosed gender dysphoria. We are working and living in an imperfect environment trying to make informed choices based on a lack of information.  

3 TYPES OF DYSPHORIA: It is not well known but there are three different types of dysphoria. It can make a big difference talking about them. Each one is so different, and their symptoms and needs are just as varied.

MIXED MESSAGES: Other mental and psychological needs are involved with all gender dysphoria types. These often include depression, anxiety, suicidal thoughts, self-harm, and more. Counseling should be a part of the health care as soon as possible in order to address these. However, counseling is not to “'fix” an individual because they are “broken” due to same-gender attraction.  Counseling is to help the individual develop the tools to manage the mental, emotional, and psychological challenges that are a part of it. Heavenly Father created them to be happy. They often need help in figuring out how to do that because of the mixed messages they receive (church vs. world). 

PERSPECTIVE: Work to keep an eternal perspective, and help the individual increase theirs. In other words, “Don't Give Up On Your Child”' or “Don't Give Up On That Youth!”  Telling an individual with gender dysphoria and same-gender attraction “no partner'”or “no companionship” based on the law of chastity may be obvious to the person giving the advice, but it may be too much for the individual—pushing them away from the gospel. When, given time to draw closer to Heavenly Father and gain a stronger testimony, they may come to that realization on their own and choose their own individual way to live the law of chastity.

FAMILIES: Please don't forget about the other members of the family.  They need support, too.

TRUST AND PATIENCE: Finally, trust our Heavenly Parents and our Savior to know what is best for their child regardless of age. I believe this also applies to trusting them that things will work out-somehow. Do we condemn the addict because they give in to their physical addiction?  No. Same-gender attraction is another mortal challenge to work through—not an eternal death sentence. 

Removing a Young Single Adult from the Mt Hood YSA Branch

24 November 2019

TO: Pertinent priesthood leaders

Dear Brethren,

After consultation with the stake presidency and President Lindhorst, I visited today with (parents' names) and their 23-year-old son (name) and informed him and them that his membership record will be moved to his family ward, the (Name of Family Ward) effective immediately.

I explained to (name) that membership in the Mt. Hood YSA Branch is a privilege and because of several recent incidents, he has lost the privilege of attending the YSA Branch or any of the official Church-sponsored YSA activities at the branch, stake or multi-stake level, including the YSA gatherings on weeknights for basketball and volleyball.

(Name) is allowed to continue to attend Institute, Pathway and other classes at the Gresham Institute.

I realize this is an unprecedented move, but the circumstances are such that merit this action. I explained to Justin that his service in the family ward and personal dedication to living the gospel will tell us at what point he can return to the YSA Branch, if he wishes.

I further explained to Justin that he begins today his full-time “mission”; he is to become his first “convert.”

Bishop (Name), when you return from your family vacation this week, please give me a call and I’ll give you more details. We ask that you welcome Justin back to the ward and that you promptly find a place for him to serve in the ward; he can serve in the Primary, but not with the youth.

Brother (Name), will you please move (Name)'s membership record right away or instruct a ward or branch clerk to do so?

We will draft a statement for Brother (Name) to read, on behalf of the stake presidency, to the YSA Branch leadership next Sunday announcing this action in hopes of avoiding rumors.

Gratefully,

President Lewis


ANNOUNCEMENT TO YSA BRANCH LEADERSHIP:

Dear Mount Hood YSA Branch Leaders,

We are sorry to announce that the membership record of (Name) has been moved to his home ward.

Membership in the Mount Hood YSA Branch is a privilege and because of recent incidences (name) has lost that privilege. 

Furthermore, (Name) has been asked not to attend any official Church-sponsored YSA activity, including branch, stake and multi-stake YSA activities. And he is not to attend the weeknight branch Family Home Evening or the YSA volleyball and basketball gatherings. 

He is encouraged to continue attending Pathway, Institute and any other classes at the Gresham Institute.

We want you to know that this is not an attempt to ostracize (Name) so please reach out to him and maintain your friendship. Our hope is that this period of time in the family ward will be a blessing to (Name) as he aligns his priorities and lives the gospel in a higher way.

Gratefully,
The Stake Presidency

Changes to High Council speaking assignments and Ward Conference Ministering Visits

23 November 2019

TO: Bishoprics, Branch Presidencies, Elders Quorum Presidencies and High Councilors

Dear Brethren,

In light of the emphasis of our Sake Organization Training last Tuesday and a High Councilor's recommendation, we are pleased to announce the following two important changes:

1. HIGH COUNCILORS SPEAKING: Effective January 2020, High Councilors will be assigned to speak in ward and branch sacrament meetings on the third Sunday (not the second Sunday, as in the past). This will ensure High Councilors are available to attend Elders Quorum meetings on second Sundays of the month. 

High Councilors are assigned to speak every month of 2020 except March and October. When the ward or branch conference is on the third Sunday, the High Councilor will be excused.

2. WARD CONFERENCE MINISTERING VISITS: In conjunction with ward and branch conferences, the 4-on-4 ministering visits will be principally with the elders quorum presidency and not the bishopric, as in the past. Please review the attached 2020 ward conference plans under "Ministering Visits" on page 2 for more details.

Brother Schumacher will send you separately the tentative date of when your Ward Conference Ministering Visits are scheduled.

We appreciate you adjusting your calendar and plans accordingly.

Gratefully,

The Stake Presidency

In response to a member of our stake who said he has forgiven, but can't forget

31 October 2019

Brother (Name),

It was nice to visit with you last night. Thank you for leading the way in helping families in our stake find “LDS-friendly” Scout units, if they desire. I appreciate you copying me on the text you sent Jason. I look forward to receiving his response.

I am equally grateful you brought up concerns about your family eventually moving into the Damascus Ward and the reasons you do not want to attend that ward. As I mentioned, we can certainly submit your concerns in an appeal for a boundary waiver to the Presiding Bishopric.

 

Candidly, (Name), the more appropriate answer is to plead with you you to seek help in applying a “healing ointment.” I will be happy to help you with that, if you would like.

So before we make that appeal to the Presiding Bishopric in the coming months, will you please review this talk by Elder Duncan in General Conference?

https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/2016/04/the-healing-ointment-of-forgiveness?lang=eng

Furthermore, I don’t consider it a coincidence that my personal study this morning—my Come, Follow Me study of the epistle to Philemon—led me to a timely set of verses in Mosiah 26. As you’ll remember, this is where King Mosiah had asked (authorized) Alma (senior) to take charge of the Church—all ecclesiastical duties in the land of the Nephites. 

In answer to Alma’s pleading as to how to set up and administer the affairs of the Church of Jesus Christ, we receive a rare set of verses where we have the Lord’s answer to Alma's prayer word for word. It goes from Mosiah 26:15 - 32. The direction is amazingly explicit as to how to help church members become “my people.” (vs. 17)

I caught my breath when I read verse 31, as it referenced those who say they’ve forgiven but haven’t forgotten.

I hope it will be helpful to you, too. Please know I don’t condemn you nor can I feel the full the measure of pain you have suffered through the (Name) offensive behavior and words. All I know (after having a daughter and her three children move into our home recently as protection against an abusive ex-husband) is that forgiveness is real and liberating. 

Thank you for following this counsel as we anticipate your move into the Damascus Ward.

I look forward to visiting with you about the Scouting concerns you have shared. You and your family are a true blessing to our stake.

President Lewis

Responding to a request involving "competing revelation"

31 October 2019

President (Name),

Thank you for giving this your devoted due diligence in arriving at these wonderful recommendations.

As you may remember, I cautioned against recommending Brother (Name)—not that he’s not an excellent choice, but that I knew his bishop, who is also having to make a change in his bishopric, was seriously considering (Name) as a counselor in the Tickle Creek Ward bishopric. So when I approached Bishop (Name) for worthiness clearance, he said that he was about to submit Clay's name to be called into the (Name) Ward bishopric.

It’s a little unusual to encounter “competing revelation” and, as you can imagine, it gets very awkward for us. It will be awkward for you, too, when you encounter two organizations asking for the same person at the same time. 

You are both inspired, but just as there’s not a “one and only” in marriage (until after we’re married, of course:) there’s not a “one and only” who can serve in either bishopric/presidency. In this case, where Bsp (Name) had mentioned to me previously of his intention (but first wanted to seek confirmation in prayer) and where you have a much larger “pool” (the entire stake) to draw from, I need to ask that you consider another brother to serve as your second counselor.

President Westover has in the past given his clearance to Bro (Name). So that recommendation is a go so far. I have written both President Westover and Bishop Miller for confirmation.

If I can help by counseling with you on others on your short list of candidates, I’d be happy to do so. We still need to have a recommendation no later than Saturday morning.

Thank you for your understanding as we move forward on these sacred and important callings.

Gratefully,

President Lewis

Counsel and guidance to a new Stake Sunday School Presidency

TO: New Stake Sunday School Presidency

Dear Brethren,

Congratulations on your call to the Stake Sunday School Presidency. We appreciate so much your devotion and service.

As you were being set apart yesterday, I had come to my mind the importance of what I expressed to you afterwards. President Christiansen, himself a master teacher, will develop the following thoughts with you over the coming weeks. 

I feel strongly there are three ways we (as Church leaders) can support home-centered gospel learning:

1. HELP EVERYONE PARTICIPATE: Please remind ward SS presidencies that the “essential purpose of gospel learning is to change lives” i.e. help every member become a true convert. We are not only to help our classes on Sunday to be the most effective possible, but also to help and encourage individuals and families to study the gospel at home.

Attached is a document the Stake Presidency drafted earlier this year that we would appreciate you reviewing again and training your ward counterparts about the principle of finding ways to encourage members to bring their gospel-learning at home to Church (i.e. everyone participate) and not vice versa as it has been for generations.

2. IMPROVE ALL TEACHING IN THE WARD: Secondly, Sunday School presidencies should be reminded often that they are not only to oversee the Sunday School, but serve as a valuable resource to all ward organizations and improve classroom instruction.

Consistently prepare and conduct helpful and effective Teacher Council meetings in every ward is essential. We hope that a member of the Stake Sunday School presidency will attend as many ward Teacher Council meetings as possible so you can identify the needs and challenges of teaching in our stake to guide you in your training.

3. ENCOURAGE MEMBERS TO STUDY AT HOME: Finally, there is much the ward Sunday School presidency and teachers can do to encourage gospel learning in the home. We strongly encourage instructors, under the direction of the ward Sunday School presidency, to communicate with their students each week offering a very brief encouragement and reminder of what we are to be studying. That communication can be through email, text, social media—whatever works for the instructor and students.

That weekly message should be very brief and could draw attention to (1) a gospel insight in the block of scriptures being studied that week, (2) a link to a video that the teacher won’t be using in the class but is inspiring (often the Teacher’s Manual suggests support materials, like videos, that the teacher won’t have time to use in class), or (3) a reference and link to a General Conference talk that supports the principles taught that week.

By communicating weekly with their students, teachers can help remind everyone that we are to be studying at home from the Come, Follow Me manual and not just on the weeks before Sunday School class (1st and 3rd Sundays). Help all of us remember that the most important gospel study will happen at home, not in the classroom.

I hope this is helpful as you begin your administration and prepare for Stake Organization training on Nov. 19.

Gratefully,

President Lewis

P.S. The example of a teacher sharing in the attached document is, of course, my wife, an adult SS teacher in our ward. I did not prime her on what to write nor had I even shared my feelings with her when I saw her email to our ward SS president. I was gratified to see her validate some of my feelings about how to involve more members in the classroom experience.

New policy announcing units may retain 2019 carry-over funds for additional support of youth activities in 2020

 Dear Bishops and Branch Presidents,

In light of the new Children and Youth Initiative, we want you to have as many funds as possible to support your children and youth activities in 2020.

Therefore, effective immediately wards and branches will be allowed to retain ALL carry-over or surplus budget funds at the end of this year. 

These funds should remain in your budget. Please do NOT transfer them to your Other account, but continue to use the Other account only as a pass-through account for funds you receive from families for specified summer camps.

Soon we will send you a report showing:

·       Your current YTD budget balance;

·       Your realistic carry-over at the end of 2019; and

·       Your projected budget allocation for 2020.

This will help you estimate the funds you’ll have in 2020, including your carry-over. Please spend your monies wisely at the end of this year to enhance your carry-over funding for 2020.

We ask that you track your carry-over funds and use them solely—and equitably, if possible—for Aaronic Priesthood, Young Women and Primary activities in 2020. 

With the extra funds, we hope you’ll…

...establish a climate of abundance among leaders so they recognize there are adequate funds to support the youth and children activities they are planning for 2020.

...help youth and their families recognize that there are adequate funds to cover activities in support of their personal goals of increasing spiritually, socially, intellectually and physically.

Finally, we remind you what Handbook 2 - 13.2.8 states: “Stake and ward budget funds should be used to pay for all activities, programs, and supplies. Members should not pay fees to participate. Nor should they provide materials, supplies, rental or admission fees, or long-distance transportation at their own expense.”

Fundraising is still not allowed in our stake. We are planning to host both a Stake Young Men and a Stake Young Women summer camp in 2020. The Handbook allows us to ask families to pay a nominal fee (probably $50 per youth) to participate in these stake summer camps. 

In 2021, when our stake attends our first For the Strength of Youth (FSY) conference, families will be expected to pay $75 per youth and wards/branches will pay $75 per youth from budget funds.

Thank you for the focus and leadership you are giving to this new initiative.

The Stake Presidency

Major change to stake presidency assignments

19 October 2019

Dear Stake Leaders,

With the recent changes to the High Council and the announcements made at General Conference, I have felt this is an appropriate time to make a change in stake presidency assignments.

Presidents Hansen and Christiansen have done a masterful job in their respective assignments. You will enjoy their leadership, perspective and inspired counsel as they become your new first contact in the stake presidency.

For the most part the two counselors are switching assignments, effective immediately.

Oversight is now assigned to:

• President Hansen - Young Women, Young Men, Primary, Music, Athletics, Activities, Public Affairs, JustServe, Emergency Preparedness, Facilities Management, Finances, etc.;

• President Christiansen - Sunday School, Single Adults, Young Single Adults, Welfare, Temple and Family History, Self-Reliance, Addiction Recovery, Financial Audits, etc.

• President Lewis retains oversight for Relief Society and Missionary Training.

Tomorrow morning (Oct. 20) High Councilors will receive a more complete list of their assignments and to whom they now report. 

Thank you so very much for your faithful support and the mighty service you always give as officers in the Mount Hood Oregon Stake.

Gratefully,

President Lewis

Recommendation not to invite children to the font's edge at baptismal services

19 October 2019

Bishops and Branch Presidents…

We have been blessed with 5 new convert baptisms in the past week—three in Tickle Creek, one in Sandy River and one in the Pioneer Branch.

Our thanks to you and the full-time missionaries on such success!

The services have been outstanding! Thank you for following the guidelines we’ve shared with you earlier. It’s been especially gratifying to observe sisters (mothers in two instances) and even youth serving as the official witnesses at the font. Well done!

It was nice to see you also recognize the witnesses by printing their names in the program.

One especially telling observation was that in all three services the children were not invited (or asked not) to come to the font's edge. The reverence around the sacred ordinance was dramatically different from that in previous services.

At the risk of being chastised for not “suffer(ing) the little children to come unto me,”  I ask that you consider not inviting the children to the font’s edge at future baptismal services. Along with the significant difference in reverence, the biggest benefit was this: in two of the services, there was a non-member father sitting in the front. In both cases, had the children been bunched around the font’s edge, those fathers would not have been able to even observe the actual baptism of their children (3 of the 5 baptisms were children, ages 9 and older).

Please note that the above is NOT a rule, but a request that you give this your consideration in the future and see if you feel it’s a change worth embracing.

Feel free to forward this to your ward/branch leadership, including your mission leader.

Gratefully,

President Lewis

Background to revelation received on how to adjust leadership in response to the announcements in October 2019 General Conference

11 October 2019

Paul and Steven,

I’m very sorry I’ve caused you both to feel unwanted or unheard this week. I handled it poorly and seek your forgiveness.

I now know I should have given you more background. Ironically I withheld the background so there was room for your input and to make this decision more inclusive. Obviously I failed miserably. Again, I’m very sorry.

The background…

When I heard the announcement in General Conference on Saturday afternoon, my first reaction was: “Oh man, we just made all those changes to the High Council, including the final slot less than a week earlier. Why wasn’t I more in tune to anticipate this and hold off making those changes, or at least the Josh Ricker call?”

Later in the session, as I sat in the Conference Center castigating myself in my mind for not being in tune with the Spirit and now we were going to have to make some more changes to the HC to make this work, suddenly my mind was opened and I saw the changes that I presented to you clearly come into my mind (a sweet enlightening that I confess I don’t receive often). It all made sense and came together very neatly. No angels, not even a burning in the bosom. But this sudden enlightenment in a direction I had not considered was a sweet experience.

The only “hole” was Stake Sunday school president. I didn’t know who that was to be. That came several days later while visiting with Paul on the phone it was made known to me that Josh Ricker should be our SS president. I was comforted in knowing that we would not have to re-shuffle any of the HC to make this work.

When I returned home I immediately and excitedly reached out to both of you to see if we could meet. Our schedules simply wouldn’t mesh. So I waited and went to the temple on Wednesday morning to make sure this was the right direction to see if my heart needed tempering over the changes.

That afternoon (Wed) I emailed you both the recommendations that had come into my mind quite dramatically. In my foolish thinking (yes, still naive at my age) I expected you both to react with the same enthusiasm. I should have given you the background and I shouldn’t have suggested that I still wanted recommendations—it was my innocent attempt to help you both to feel a part of this decision, but instead it only opened the door for you to push back and feel unlistened to. It was a horrible mistake on my part. 

Obviously I was ready to move forward quickly (I had been pondering and praying about it for days), but I failed to give you time to digest it all or even ask questions.

Remember when we met after the trek reunion and discussed HC assignments, especially for the new HC? You both recommended that Doug Rial be assigned to the TC Ward. You may recall I pushed back. Steven, you were especially insistent that was where Doug needed to be assigned. I felt the strength of your conviction and accepted it. I am asking you both to feel the strength of my conviction regarding the changes I am recommending.

Please know I very much want to please you both and deeply desire for you to be happy in your service in our presidency. I’m so very sorry that I failed you miserably this week and disrupted the unity of our faith.

Crismon

Counsel regarding the emphasis that other leaders besides the bishop conduct counseling interviews

FROM BISHOP TRUJILLO:

Another question that came to mind is for interviews with adult ward members, should the elders Qourum and RS.  I often try am trying to have Cale ask what the request is concerning but I have yet to really push members to meet with EQ or RS. When is that appropriate to do and how to I do so to not hurt members feelings or expectations?


Thank you for asking. Unfortunately, there’s no easy answer. I’m confident the Spirit will help you know when to explain to adults that you’ll need to have them turn to their EQ or RS president.

In the meantime, I suggest you use the YM transition as a way of “teaching” the ward in sacrament meeting and in EQ and RS meetings how the Brethren have eliminated the YM program at the ward level so the bishopric can focus on the youth (Aaronic Priesthood) over which they preside, as directed in the D&C. That means the bishop will ask members to counsel more with EQ and RS presidents. And on occasion the YW president may be asked to counsel with the YW.

Thanks again for the good question. Let’s continue to discuss it when we meet together with other bishops. We look forward to learning from you.

Gratefully,

PrL

P.S. We are blessed to have a professional counselor in President Christiansen. We are hopeful, in time, he can help us put together a training module to more adults, beyond bishops, on how to counsel with youth and adults and thus feel confident they can help those who in the past went to the bishop.

In response to my counselors about recommendations of HC assignments and other leadership changes

10 October 2019

Paul and Steven,

I appreciate your feedback to my recommendations and additional counsel. You both have strong opinions and share them candidly, which is great. 

I’m sorry that we have not been able to find time to visit in person. I appreciate your willingness to continue the discussion via email, even though that’s not the ideal form of communication, as we’ve all expressed multiple times in our visits.

Let me respond to two concerns shared and then ask some questions.

RECOMMENDING COUNSELORS

I appreciate your strong feelings to leave inspiration to the bishop for recommending his counselor. Having met personally many times with Bishop Miller for 4+ years I feel I know him quite well. I can give you multiple reasons I believe he would jump at the chance to have Brock Miller as his counselor, if Brock were made available. I’m OK if the bishop chooses not to recommend Brock, but decides to use  him instead elsewhere in his AP program or even in another capacity. But I expect fully Bishop Miller will recommend Brock, as long as we don’t have misgivings. 

Steven, you mentioned that you both do not recommend Brock to serve as a counselor in the Damascus bishopric. Is there a reason you do not recommend him to serve there, or is it just you don’t want him to be released as Stake YM president?

Speaking of recommending counselors, Paul, I appreciate so much you creating the list of potential counselor candidates for Bro Lindhorst. I believe he will welcome the list gratefully and with open arms.

One more thing…

Of course there’s a chance Bro Lindhorst will request a HC to serve in the YSA branch presidency creating an opening for Brock to be called to the HC, but it’s not likely (only 4 HC are empty nesters). I’m reluctant to “push” out any of the current HC to make room for Brock. Craig Dobson is the only HC who has served for more than 2 years and he just barely completed 2 years in September. That’s one reason I don’t think it’s prudent that we wait even until December to make these changes.

Speaking of timing…

TIMING

Steven raised the concern about acting so quickly; that we take our time on these changes. That’s never bad advice. 

I’ve found very interesting how quickly the Brethren are making changes. Is this a case of the Lord suddenly opening the windows of heaven and directing all of these changes? That may be some of it, but I also believe it’s because we have a Prophet who is so decisive. Both of his counselors have mentioned openly how they’re almost taken aback by how decisive President Nelson is—something they attribute to his years as a surgeon and having to make quick, major (life and death) decisions.

Because the Brethren are giving very specific instructions quickly and often, I find myself wanting to be “quick to obey.”

OUR DISCUSSION

Because I have us on a “fast track” we don’t have a lot of time to discuss things in person. I welcome us getting together some time next week, after Paul has returned. I’m available next Thursday evening, Oct 17, at 7:00 pm if both of you are available. I could do a conference call on Wednesday, Oct. 16. Of course, I’m usually available for a late afternoon conference call most any late afternoon or evening, including a conference call on Monday, Oct 13, at 9:00 pm..

If you feel strongly you still want to discuss the recommendations I made, let’s find some time next week. I would appreciate us not including this topic in our discussion at our “Presidency Retreat” at 7:00 am on Saturday, Oct. 19 (at my home) as we need time to discuss plans for 2020. Besides, if we’re going to call two current HC as stake YM and stake SS presidents, we need time to visit with them before we sustain them in HC meeting on Sunday, Oct 20.

In the meantime, I have some more questions that I need your counsel on. I will send them separately so you can address them separately. If you prefer not to respond to them via email, that’s fine. Steven, we can discuss them in presidency meeting on Sunday. And Paul you can give me a call at your convenience and share with me your feelings.

Thank you so much, both of you, for being mighty counselors.

Crismon

Question #1

What do you see as the role of the Stake Young Men presidency? Where they no longer have ward counterparts, what do we expect of them besides planning and organizing stake AP events (with the stake APYW and youth committees)?

Do we expect them to visit the AP quorums and activities in all the wards?

Do we expect them to train the ward AP advisers and specialists…or is that the bishopric’s responsibility?

Do we expect them to interface with or even train the bishoprics? If so, how, when and where?

Question #2

Where the bishoprics now take an increased ownership of the Aaronic Priesthood program in the ward and where the bishop only has a regular accountability interview with the stake president…whether intentional or not by the Brethren…that means the stake president, to some degree, assumes an increased ownership of the Aaronic Priesthood program. At least that’s how I see it.

How can the stake president’s counselor and the Stake YM presidency more effectively assist the stake president to work with each bishop in moving forward the work of the AP in each ward?



Question #3

What concerns, if any, do you have with Matt Newell serving as the Stake Young Men’s president?

While we will not dictate to him his counselors, we have an opportunity to identify and encourage consideration of strong counselors (such as members of ward YM presidencies who are about to be released). I do not feel we have the strongest candidates in Pat Carsner and Brock Johnson. Now is the time to make the change. Hopefully we can do so without hurting feelings. 

Who are others among the members in our stake who would complement and help Matt rise to the occasion?

Question #4

This one needs to be answered right away…

I know you both feel strongly about retaining Brock Miller as Stake YM president. Brethren, it’s not going to happen for several reasons: (1) I don’t want to push someone out of the HC prematurely just to make room for Brock (this is not secondary to me); (2) eliminating the ward YM presidencies, in my opinion, minimizes significantly the influence and impact of a Stake YM presidency; and (3) Brock has always been one of three top candidates to replace Bishop Miller in June; in my opinion, if the Lord has chosen Brock then allowing him to serve in the ward for the next 8 months will be wonderful preparation.

I know this is disappointing to you both. I’m so very sorry. But I, too, have strong feelings in the matter.

So recognizing that there will be a new Stake YM president in the coming weeks, my question is: Do we still want to sustain Pat Carsner this Sunday knowing he may not be retained by the new stake YM president or do we explain to Pat the dilemma we face (because of the General Conference announcement) and that the sustaining is now on hold until the Stake YM presidency is reorganized?

Answering a question bishoprics may have after a General Conference announcement discontinuing the ward Young Men presidency

8 October 2019

Bishops and Branch Presidents…

One question you may have is whether the ward YM presidency was already officially released at General Conference where it was announced that the callings of YM presidencies “have been discontinued at the ward level.” Or should they be officially released in the ward?

Answer: We recommend you extend an official release to the ward YM presidency members only when the bishopric is ready to assume full “ownership” of the Aaronic Priesthood program with the assistance of the advisers and specialists. As you’ll remember, this transition  should happen no later than the end of the year; we hope it would happen much sooner than that.

When that transition occurs, please extend an “official” release to each member of your ward/branch YM presidency and recognize them for their service by releasing them over the pulpit, as you would other callings. 

Bishoprics are figuring out that these YM presidency members may continue to play a role in the youth program by being called as “specialists” so there is always double coverage in AP quorum meetings and activities so bishopric members have the flexibility to visit the Primary and Young Women on occasion.

When you officially release the YM presidency over the pulpit, you may want to clarify with ward members that technically there is no longer a Young Men’s program in the ward, but simply an Aaronic Priesthood program presided over by the Bishopric as the presidency of the Aaronic Priesthood. Moreover, each AP quorum also has a presidency with a president who hold priesthood keys.

I hope this is helpful,

President Lewis

In response to Cathy Meik's insistence that the Lord has revealed to her not to attend sacrament meeting

Bishop (Name),

Thank you for sharing. I’m so sorry you’re having to go through this.

While reading this my mind was drawn to the 26th chapter of 2 Nephi. 

2 Nephi 26:27 may be especially helpful: “Hath he (the Lord) commanded any that they should not partake of his salvation? Behold I say unto you, Nay…”

Ordinances are the keys to the mysteries (revelation) and to salvation (see D&C 84:20-21; TG Godliness). The Lord would never command one of His children to not attend sacrament meeting and thus not partake of an ordinance, i.e. the sacrament.

Furthermore, it is inappropriate for Sister (Name) to ask a priesthood leader to pray as to whether she is receiving revelation on the subject when the answer has been definitively revealed: the Lord would never tell one of His children NOT to participate in an ordinance. The only exception is when the person has chosen to be unworthy of participating in that ordinance.

In short, Sister (Name) is NOT receiving revelation from the Lord.

All the examples she and her family conjure up to suggest there are exceptions to keeping the commandments never involve ordinances. The Lord is always consistent when it comes to inviting His children to participate in the ordinances. There are no examples in the scriptures, that I’m aware of, that suggests the Father or the Son ever told anyone not to participate in a sacred ordinance except for unworthiness.

As the rest of 2 Nephi:26:27 admonishes, please do all you can to persuade her to repent.

I hope this is helpful.

You’ll be in my prayers.

President Lewis

Bishop,

I have spent a lot of time in prayer this week. I know for a certainty that I was not deceived about my not attending church. However, neither were you. I was following the Lord's instructions for a reason which you have yet to understand. Your inspiration that the Lord wants me at church is absolutely correct because it is a commandment and He desires all of His children to attend church. 

I believe that we haven't been able to come to an understanding because you need to ask a different question. "Has Sis (Name), for some reason that I don't understand, been receiving revelation that she should not attend church?" I know that you are a humble man and want to know truth. I have faith that you will get a true answer if you ask in faith with no preconceived ideas.

As we discussed on Sunday, there are times when the Lord directs people to do something that directly goes against His commandments. I believe that this has been my case. I have constantly pleaded with the Lord to allow me to go to church because I miss being there for many reasons. But I have been submissive to His will in my life even if I don't understand the reasons, not only in this case, but in everything I do in my life. Some of the actions I have taken in the past several years have not been understood or liked by many of my friends and even family. Most of my family didn't like or understand when we moved up here. My relationship with my oldest daughter deteriorated. She took it as a literal abandonment and has yet to see it as following the Lord's command and forgiven us. She has distanced herself emotionally from me and I have to be the one mostly to reach out to her.

The bottom line is that I answer to the Lord, no one else. It has been and still is a difficult journey, but I am getting more confident in standing up to peer pressure. I have been really hurt these past few months because some leaders of our ward haven't been willing to ask the real question, "Is Sis (Name) truly receiving this revelation? Is there something about her journey that we don't understand/" But it has been a good learning experience for me to strengthen me for future events and ministering to others. I don't hold any grudges.    

Thanks for your continued concern for me and my family. I hope that we can use this experience to learn from each other and the Lord will give information to us that has been hidden about our missions on this earth.

(Name)

Accommodating the Pioneer Branch's growth

Bishops Miller, May. Koch and President Ibarra…

I am pleased to report that the Pioneer (Spanish) Branch continues to grow, particularly with the addition of families either moving in or returning to activity.

As you already know, the Pioneer Branch has a number of youth and has a fledgling YWYM program. The branch also now has 10-12 Primary-age children. President Ibarra and his counselors would like to consider starting their own Primary instead of combining with the Walters Hill Ward. 

The benefit of continuing to meet at 9:00 am it gives the branch a chance to “test” such a move and still have the option of leaning on the English ward’s support during the second hour, if needed.

As they begin testing such programs, obviously it will put added pressure on where they can meet.

At a time convenient to all of you, will the four of you please meet under the direction of Bishop Koch, the agent bishop for the stake center, and discuss ideas as to how we can accommodate in the stake center the Pioneer Branch presidency’s desire to expand the branch’s capacity to provide a more complete program for its members?

Ultimately, the hope is that the Pioneer Branch would become totally independent and meet each Sunday on their own possibly with classes at 1:00 pm and sacrament meeting at 2:00 pm.

Thank you for helping the Pioneer Branch presidency in this wonderful new development.

The Stake Presidency

Reminding bishops about the introduction of the 2020 Children and Youth Initiative

Bishops and Branch Presidents,

You have all received an email directing you to the 48-minute video presentation you will show during your 5th Sunday presentation during the 2nd hour on Sunday, Sept 29.

Please remember to:

1. Download the video so you are not relying on WiFi to show it during your 2nd hour;

2. Arrange for those without children at home (and not serving in Primary, YM or YW) to cover your junior Primary during the 2nd hour that day;

3. Arrange for families (parents and children, ages 8 and older) to sit together...chairs in a half circle may be ideal;

4. Make sure you have on hand the two booklets that you’ll distribute: (a) the smaller booklet for the youth to receive at the beginning of the broadcast because they will use it during the presentation; and (b) the larger booklet for the parents to receive at the end of the broadcast.

It’s a wonderful presentation available for those who have access to https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/youth/childrenandyouth?lang=eng then go to Resources, click on Leaders and click on “Download the materials” for the Fifth-Sunday Materials.

We recommend you review the presentation before hand, if you have time. Obviously, there won’t be much time for a Q&A afterwards, but President Ballard assures us that answers to questions will be forthcoming—probably in a Q&A format as we recently received about FSY.

This is a thrilling development, giving the Church’s youth program a more home-centered focus. Remember the keys...(1) Be with them; (2) Let them lead; and (3) Connect them with Heaven…are still principles that apply. 

If you have any questions or technology concerns, please let us know so we can help.

This is going to be a marvelous introduction to the new Children and Youth Initiative. 

President Lewis and the Stake Presidency