Suggestions on conducting a ring ceremony following a temple wedding

Suggestions for a Ring Ceremony

by Crismon Lewis, former Mount Hood YSA Ward Bishop

Priesthood leaders are advised to review the guidelines established in Handbook 1: 3.5.1. You will note that there is no specified ceremony for exchanging rings following a temple wedding. So the term “ring ceremony” as used in this document is not an official term used by the Church.

However, non-member parents, family and close friends can be offended when they are excluded from temple weddings. In an attempt to soothe possible hurt feelings among non-member family members, I have used the following format for conduct–ing many ring ceremonies prior to wedding receptions. I have found these to be excellent opportunities to teach gospel truths to non-member guests.

I share these not as official guidelines, but simply ideas and suggestions for helping other priesthood leaders.

The ring ceremony may be held outside or anywhere in the church building, except not in the chapel so as not to imply that this is the actual wedding ceremony or a repeat of the ceremony.

I allowed the following in ring ceremonies: (1) while not advisable, I allowed the bride to be escorted down an aisle by her father or husband while music is playing, if important to the family; (2) an opening prayer; (3) a special musical number;
(4) a message by the bishop or person conducting the ceremony; (5) exchange of rings; (6) I encouraged expressions by the bride and groom and sometimes other family members, if they desire; (7) applause at the end.

Key points to consider in the bishop’s message:

·   Be sensitive to the non-members, possibly parents, who may have been hurt by being excluded from the actual wedding;

·   Explain why we have temples and why weddings are so sacred in our faith;

·   Help them understand that the bride and groom chose to put God first by marrying in the temple;

·   Teach how marriage and family are at the center of God’s plan for His children.

Possible Message Content:

We are very honored to have all of you here today to celebrate the wedding of (groom) and (bride). They love you very much and are grateful you have chosen to honor them at this very important time in their lives.

You may remember the Bible tells the story of when someone once asked Jesus what  are the greatest commandments in the law. He replied that one of the two greatest commandments is that we are to love our neighbor as our self. That is why you are all here today. (Groom) and (bride) love you very much and have invited you to be a part of their wedding.

The actual wedding occurred earlier today in the Portland Oregon Temple, a very sacred edifice in our faith. There are only 150 such buildings in the entire world. In our faith, we believe God has set aside these very special places where the very highest of ordinances or sacraments are performed. One of those special ceremonies performed in the temple by those with special authority is what we call “an eternal marriage” or a marriage for the eternities. For instance, in that ceremony (groom) and (bride) never heard the words, “until death do you part.” In the ceremony, God makes a promise with couples that their love will go beyond the grave…they are joined for the eternities…they are a forever family.

As you can imagine, this is a very personal and sacred experience. So not everyone is able to attend the actual wedding. We hope none of you were hurt or offended by (groom) and (bride)’s decision to marry in the temple.

You see, Jesus also said that the “first and great commandment” is to “love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all they soul, and with all thy mind.” (Matthew 22:37-38)

In other words, by their decision to marry in the temple, even though it may have excluded some of those they love very, very much, it doesn’t mean that they love you less…but simply that they love God more, as Jesus commanded. (Groom) and (bride)  wanted to put God first in their lives…to make Him their foundation upon which they establish their marriage and upon which they will build their family.

In our faith, we believe modern-day prophets have declared that “marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God and that the family is central to the Creator's plan for the eternal destiny of His children.” This life…in fact everything about this life…is about families.

God is not just our Creator, but a loving Heavenly Father. Like our earthly parents he loves us and yearns for our happiness.

Each of us…everyone on earth…is a beloved spirit son or daughter of heavenly parents. When we come to earth we take upon us a physical body. We leave the loving arms of heavenly parents and are welcomed into the loving arms of earthly parents. We call this birth.

Later we are commanded to leave the loving arms of our earthly parents and cleave unto another…our husband or wife. This, too, is a birth. In fact, we are witnesses of  just such a birth that happened today. It’s the birth of a family.

Marriage is the beginning of a new family!

But the Lord doesn’t divide He multiplies. So even though (bride), in a sense, is leaving her parents, actually the (groom’s family) is gaining a daughter. And (bride’s) parents are gaining a son.

Marriage and families truly are ordained of God. We believe families are sacred because they’re the method…the vehicle, if you will…God uses to help and bless His children who are sent to earth to grow, learn and fulfill His plan of happiness for each of us.

That’s why we cherish His law of chastity or being faithful in marriage. That’s why we honor each other in marriage with love, respect, kindness, compassion, and righteousness. That’s why we pray together as husband and wife…why we work together…play together…parent together.

Because marriage is so sacred you may have noticed in the scriptures that the Savior referred to himself as the bridegroom and His followers…the church…as the bride. I believe it is His way of telling us how much He loves us. He uses the symbol of the sacrificial love essential in marriage as a way of teaching us of the highest form of love we can attain in this life—it’s the depth of sacrificial love He has for us!

Both (groom) and (bride) made eternal covenants today in the Lord’s Holy House and became a forever family, never to be separated by death. Their love and their family will endure through the eternities. It’s God’s marvelous plan for the eternal joy and happiness of his children.

They wanted you to share in their joy with this brief ring ceremony. I would now like to invite (groom) and (bride) to share their feelings about what has happened today and how much they appreciate you being with them to mark this sacred occasion.

(After groom and bride share their feelings)

I now invite the bride and groom to exchange rings symbolic of the eternal covenants made today…and to seal this with a kiss.

(After rings are exchanged and a kiss)

I present to you Mr. and Mrs. (last name).  (Usually elicits applause and an end to the ring ceremony as the couple either lead the party into the reception area or begin greeting family and friends.)