Discussion about moving wards with the creation of YSA and Spanish branches in our stake

3 October 2016

Dear Brian (Yates),

Thank you for the clarification. I apologize for any misunderstanding or mischaracterization. I accept your apology and ask that you forgive me, as well.

You are right, you did send me a thorough and helpful email on 9/16, to which I failed to respond (I’ve included below for all to review). I apologize for not responding.  I shared, however, with the stake presidency that I was not inclined to approve a move of the YSA Branch to the Institute (or any other building in the Gresham Stake), but forgot to communicate my feelings to you after you so kindly shared your thoughts.

So you’re aware, here are three major reasons I see for not moving the YSA branch into the Institute building or a location in Gresham: (1) I was the bishop that moved the YSA Ward out of the Institute into a church building and it made a huge difference in helping the YSA feel they were a true Church unit and they began to grow (40 to 75 in average attendance) and  function (accept leadership roles) as such; (2) the full-time missionaries in our stake would not be able to attend the YSA branch meetings without some special permission, which may be hard to get inasmuch as crossing mission boundaries is, as one Area 70 said, a send-home transgression; and (3) placing the YSA branch within the Gresham Stake boundaries would inherently undermine the Springwater YSA Ward. While it may make sense to us to rescue the many YSA on the east side seemingly being neglected right now, this is not an appropriate way to get priesthood leaders to change direction.

If there’s a silver lining, hopefully this discussion on both the Spanish and YSA units has now been broached with all the “key players” (the stake presidency and you, as the HC over both units) so that we can once-and-for-all put to rest any rumors or hidden agendas among any of us with regard to thoughts of moving an existing ward or branch into the Estacada building. And while the idea of creating a fourth ward out of E-SR-TC is enticing, we are not seeing enough growth (either in converts or move-ins) to justify such a consideration at least not until we consistently see 250+ attendance in at least two of the three wards and even there I believe SLC might balk at such a recommendation in part due to the thin numbers in the TC Ward (they’ve stopped opening the first curtain for sacrament meeting).

Brian, thank you for taking the time to explain what happened. We value very much your service on the high council and for your faithful service to two units—the YSA and Spanish. The fact that you serve both units speaks to how much confidence we have in you. We are equally grateful for your willingness to provide double-duty service.

Gratefully,

Crismon

Your email to which I never responded (my apologies!):

When I was asked to work with the Spanish group, I began to look to the future and began looking for the solutions to the problems we addressed last night, as well as some others.

Growth of the group was one thing I looked at and the fact is, at some future date, the Sandy building will not be able to accommodate both the Spanish Branch/Ward and the YSA Branch/Ward.

President Hansen and I discussed this and he asked me to explore what options exist, and to get the opinions of Pres. Westover and of Bro. G - from a YSA, not Spanish, point of view.

Pres. Westover is not concerned about the possibility of having to move, as long as Estacada is not the destination building.  We both believe moving the Branch there would be damaging to our efforts. He likes the idea of the Stake Center or the Institute or the Troutdale building.

Brother G hopes we choose the Institute, but he also likes the idea of the Troutdale building.

My thoughts are that having the YSAs meet at the Stake Center would be the best option for the Stake, but I recognize it will likely not happen.

Why do I say it is best for the Stake?  Moving Damascus Ward for a short time to the Estacada building would give the minimum required 2 units per existing building, which then would allow us to petition Salt Lake to build another building.  We will need that building because the SR/Tickle Creek/Estacada combination will soon birth a 4th Ward.

At that point, the YSAs could move to Troutdale, (because by then, they will have outgrown the possibility of using the Institute) also by then, our relationship with the Gresham Stake YSAs will be so solid that the Gresham location will be desireable. Or they could just stay in the Stake Center with Damascus and the Spanish Branch. The 2 Gresham Wards would meet in the new building located in Gresham proper.

The units per building would be:

Sandy - 2 Units

Estacada - 2 Units (Estacada + the new Ward)

The Stake Center - 3 Units

The new building - 2 Units

So, if the YSAs don't go to the Stake Center, I recommend they go to the Institute, and when they outgrow it, the Troutdale building (which currently houses 2 wards) will be nice.  And yes, I know we will outgrow the Institute in a year, but there are benefits to meeting there until we do outgrow it.

Thanks,

Brian

In response to this email chain:

Brian,

I appreciate your vision and enthusiasm for growth, but SLC is doing everything possible to avoid building in the USA since most of the growth (and need) is in Africa and Latin America.

So our chances of getting a building in Gresham are very remote because…

1. The Church sold the land where the Hogan building was located in Gresham and there are few pieces of suitable size remaining, that I can tell;

2. We would have to have sacrament meeting attendance in multiple wards of 300 or more before they’d start looking at dividing wards (we only have two wards that pull more than 200 sacrament meeting attendance and that’s only on an occasional basis);

3. We need 3 units, not 2, in every building before they’ll consider building;

4. The Church is monitoring attendance and growth in every building (we are required to submit an annual report) and they require wards to attend in “open” slots in buildings even located in other stakes before they’ll build a new meetinghouse, i.e. they would require WH and PV wards attend meetings in the Gresham Stake Center or Stark or Troutdale before building again;

5. City of Gresham has a reputation of making it difficult to build within the city limits, partly because there is so little land left so they can be tough.

In short, it is extremely remote that we’ll ever see another meetinghouse in Gresham. So I appreciate your eagerness for growth, but—because of your stake calling—anything you say can be taken as a reflection of the stake presidency. So please do not drop hints or suggest to leaders or members that someday a Sandy unit will be going to Estacada. That just isn’t practical. In fact, to force a Sandy congregation anytime soon to drive to Estacada just because leaders want to create the appearance of growth is both unrealistic and unkind. Please do not instigate rumors.

Thanks,

Crismon

FROM BRIAN: I would never instigate rumors. I have not made suggestions or dropped hints to anyone - leaders or otherwise - that one of the Sandy units would be going to Estacada.  What has made you think that I had?

FROM CRISMON:

During our Spanish Branch discussion meeting you mentioned openly that you had already communicated to President Westover that he should be thinking about a possible change in location (due to the possibility of a Spanish branch), maybe even Estacada. President Westover confirmed with me later that you had dropped a hint to him that the branch may move, possibly to Estacada. I assured him that would not happen.

Later I was told (I believe in a stake presidency meeting) that Bishop Howes, hearing that there was a possibility a Sandy unit might eventually move to Estacada, supposedly said, “Well, if any ward should go to Estacada it would be our ward” since he has a number of members who live off of Highway 211 half way to Estacada.

I am concerned that this idea (rumor) is even being discussed anywhere outside of the stake presidency (where it’s NOT being discussed). It just creates unnecessary instability and insecurity in the hearts of leaders and members.

I concluded that such a rumor came from you because of the comment I heard you make at the Spanish Branch discussion meeting. That’s when I began probing as it raised a deep concern with me. Then when you asked the question in the email below about moving a ward to Estacada (an idea that I have never suggested, proposed or entertained, that I recall), it further concerned me that the idea (and rumor) was coming from you. Hence this email chain.

If I’ve misunderstood or unfairly judged, please accept my apology.

FROM BRIAN:

That is not accurate.  During the Spanish meeting, when we talked about a potential meeting-time conflict I said that I don't think we need to be concerned with the YSA branch in regard to meeting time conflicts. Only after the meeting and then in a private email to you did I talk about speaking with President Westover.  I have never openly discussed this.

Here is the related portion of the email I sent to you:

"Growth of the group was one thing I looked at and the fact is, at some future date, the Sandy building will not be able to accommodate both the Spanish Branch/Ward and the YSA Branch/Ward.

President Hansen and I discussed this and he asked me to explore what options exist, and to get the opinions of Pres. Westover and of Bro. G - from a YSA, not Spanish, point of view.

Pres. Westover is not concerned about the possibilty of having to move, as long as Estacada is not the destination building.  We both believe moving the Branch there would be damaging to our efforts. He likes the idea of the Stake Center or the Institute or the Troutdale building.

Brother G hopes we choose the Institute, but he also likes the idea of the Troutdale building."

I believe the idea of a ward splitting occurs to most people when they see the overflow being opened, and especially when the second overflow is opened. When the Stake has the creation of two new units as a goal, you are guaranteeing discussion, at the members level, regarding which ward will split and where the new units will meet.  Hopefully, it does not strike fear or insecurity into the hearts of leaders when they consider this goal, it should make them consider what they can do to help bring it about.

I can't speak to what Bishop Howes thinks or said, or as you wrote: "supposedly" said; I have never talked to him about this. And speaking of not talking to someone about this, if in the future you need to probe about me, please feel free to talk to me. I'll give you first hand information.

If I have done anything wrong I sincerely apologize, and I will publicly apologize to whoever I have wronged.

Helping leaders with callings recommendations so ward and stake auxiliary leaders' recommendations are not rejected

The following is prepared to assist priesthood and auxiliary leaders in making recommendations for callings, including instances where inspiration is received but recommendations are declined.

Doctrinal foundations of callings:

• This is the Lord’s true church, He will reveal His will to us (D&C 1:30, 112:10, AofF 1:5)
• Revelation, and thus final decisions, flow through priesthood keys (D&C 28:7, 35:25)
• Whom the Lord calls, the Lord qualifies (Thomas S. Monson, April Conference 1996)
• The Lord sometimes withholds communication so leaders learn to develop judgment and become like God; the Lord then stands behind those decisions (see Moses 1:25)

How do we reconcile ‘competing revelation’ when a recommendation is rejected?

• Right person, wrong time
• As in marriage, there’s no “one-and-only”
• Natural to feel right about those we like or who are dependable
• Additional information was needed before asking in prayer
• Feeling an urgency to decide quickly

Key factors in approving callings: peace of heart, a settled feeling among all in the bishopric or presidency, worthiness, availability, personal and family circumstances

Other factors that may affect approvals: dependability, length of service in current calling, willingness to serve, talent, teachable, respect for authority, enthusiasm for work

Three Approaches to Making Recommendations

Directed by priesthood leader

Your priesthood leader selects the candidates for you

• Pro: No rejection rate, no frustration from rejection
• Con: No participation in the revelatory experience, may not prefer candidates chosen

Select from a narrow group

Your priesthood leader gives you a group of 4-5 names to choose from

• Pro: Some revelatory experience, low rejection rate, low frustration
• Con: Limited flexibility, may not prefer any of the candidates offered for consideration

Choose from general membership

You choose from the entire stake or ward membership

• Pro: A sweet, revelatory experience
• Con: Sometimes high frustration from number of rejections due to above factors

-- September 2016

Update on Duraye at the end of September 2016

21 September 2016

Dear family,

We are happy to report that things continue to go well for Duraye in many respects, including she now has a job…started this week at a company that helps people invest in high-end homes or something like that. I haven’t investigated it personally, but she likes it because it has both a base plus commission.

She also has had a wonderful experience attending the Arcadia Ward where leaders and members have reached out to her very warmly. Amazingly, there were already some connections of friends in that ward. In fact, the bishop was a counselor in the bishopric of Jeffrey and Olivia’s student ward at ASU a couple of years ago and loved them dearly. That has helped open the door for Duraye to become very well acquainted with Bishop and Sister Horsley.

The ward has already provided her with a generous supply of food from the storehouse and $334 in assistance to offset two bills that were due this week.

All of you have so generous in helping Duraye get into her new apartment in Scottsdale and to get a “fresh start” to life. She’s very, very grateful to the family and recognizes this is no small sacrifice. Little by little she’s getting on her feet again and has hope with the family’s generous support.

In addition to your financial support, having so many family members help her move and set up her apartment (in 2 hours flat!) earlier this month was thrilling. She was touched by such an outpouring! Please continue to reach out to her with emails and phone calls. Needless to say, her life is a bit lonely with both daughters now in Utah, her favorite pet dog Pearl having to stay in Mesa due to the no-pet rule we didn’t originally know about and just being on her own in a new place. So your outreach with calls, texts and emails are welcomed. 

What will really help is if family members in the Valley can remember to invite her to holiday or family gathering. Please feel free to forward this to your children in the Valley. We so appreciate them remembering and connecting with Duraye as often as possible. More often than not, she may decline your invitations, but just having invitations to decline will touch her deeply.

As for the finances, here’s a brief rundown so far:

In addition to the original up-front payment of $2,150 to get her set up in the apartment, we spent another $778 in costs for utilities, moving expenses and a variety of bills (like her cell phone) that were past due and very much needed.

In all, we’ve spent $2,928.58. Fortunately, the family generously donated $3,034.00 leaving a $183.42 surplus. THANK YOU!!

While Duraye has a job, she really won’t see a paycheck for a week or two. So we’ll need to continue to provide some support, as we originally agreed. Fortunately, her bishop is working with us and using some fast offerings to supplement our efforts to keep her afloat.

In the meantime, here’s what we need for our second installment.

Her rent is $950 per month. Because the landlord failed to have the apartment ready for move-in, as promised, we were able to negotiate a reduction of $176 off the October rental payment. So with this reduction plus the $183 surplus, we won’t need as much from the family this month…

$950 monthly rental

- 176 negotiated one-time reduction

- 183 surplus from original family installment

$591 for rent in October

However, we expect we’ll have a few expenses that may need to get covered before she finally starts pulling a paycheck. So we recommend that we contribute about $700 total in October.

May we ask that we all send $100 each before Oct 1? For those who originally committed to send $50 per month, please send only $50.

As all expenses are coming out of our personal funds, please send funds by check to:

Vivienne Lewis

1121 SW 10th Drive

Gresham, OR 97080

Or, if you prefer, you can send payments via PayPal.

Thank you so much for your kindness in being so prompt and again for your generous support. We trust this is making a difference in our sister’s life. Above all, she knows that we truly and deeply love her; no matter the past, she is loved by all of us!

Thank you for ongoing support and love,

Crismon & Vivienne

503-914-8689 M

P.S. We leave tomorrow, Thursday, 9/22, for Virginia where we will visit Dallin and Janelle’s family (he’s now a professor at Southern Virginia University) for a few days, returning on Tuesday, 9/27. But we’ll be available by email, text or phone, if you have any questions or concerns. Thank you!

Update on Duraye's status after first week in her new apartment

9 September 2016

Dear Myreel, Corwin, Wick, Delon and Durelle…

I owe you an update on Duraye. Overall things are going well, I feel. Here’s a brief report…

APARTMENT:  Thanks again to everyone helping so eagerly (and with so many helping hands), she was so appreciative and commented later how it all brought such happy memories of being with family. Sadly, there are still some obstacles…refrigerator just arrived today, but because there’s no 3-prong outlet where the fridge goes the fridge is temporarily plugged into the wall in the living room. Even though an adapter is fine, the landlord is sending in a handyman to install a 3-prong outlet so it’s done right. That should be the last of the handyman jobs, but because it has been 8 days to get everything done that should have been done before she moved in, we are negotiating with the landlord (94-year-old man in CA who only speaks Spanish; crazy, huh? :) to get a week of rent (about $250) knocked off the October rental payment. We’ll see…

EMPLOYMENT: She may have a job interview on Monday. I’ve tried to get her to widen her scope as far as jobs. While she feels she needs to earn $40-$50K per year, I showed her that her living expenses only require $25K or more per year…that there are many jobs that can support that income level. Going to that level of job, though, is a real downer for her personally, as it would be for any of us, and she understandably worries that going there will impact her ability to get a higher-paying job later. She makes a good point. But she very much wants and is looking for employment. She goes to a nearby Panera Bread to use wifi as she doesn’t have it in her apartment. I suggested she get acquainted with her neighbors and befriend one enough to trust her with their wifi password as she’s picking up everyone’s wifi in the complex, but of course secured. Also, she apparently has connected with Randy Daems re: resume help and I’ve passed along some thoughts from both Wick and Myreel.

CHURCH: I visited with the bishop again, after his return from watching grandchildren in MN. He said he was waiting for her membership record to arrive. I had to explain again that he won’t see a membership record, but the timing is important the Church rally around her with HT and VT, opportunities to serve, and even welfare assistance. I explained she has four key bills totaling $475 that need payment by 9/20-ish and asked if he could please meet with her soon enough to possibly assist with those. That doesn’t count food. I asked if he’d also consider a food order. Also Duraye is moving forward on food assistance (food stamps). I tried to stress with him that what she needs most right now is a friend…a single woman with whom she can “hang out.” After your wonderful experience helping her to connect with several in her home ward during the block meetings early last Sunday, Myreel and Delon, there was a pot luck (singles?) that evening. It would have been perfect for Duraye to attend and get acquainted. She told me later, “I was so tired” but then confided she didn’t have anyone to go with. So a friend is crucial right now. I hope I can get a little more enthusiasm out of the bishop, but I’m on the brink of becoming annoying already. We’ll see what happens this Sunday. I was able to get the name of the ward RS president, Mary Lou Alredge (I think :) So far, no one from the Church has reached out to Duraye this week.

PERSONALLY: She admits to being lonely, but at the same time is on the phone a lot with me and others working on getting the apartment, food stamps, resume rework, job searches, etc. worked out so she’s staying somewhat busy. I find interesting that in some ways she’s confident and on top of everything and then other times admits to being “overwhelmed” by it all. I invited her to have over-the-phone scripture study with Vivienne and I each night (we don’t get to it until 10 or 10:30 pm before retiring), but I suggested it would be a good way so she doesn’t feel too lonely. I tried to explain that it’s not about trying to “convert” her but to break up the boredom and loneliness…just to interact with someone each night. So far she hasn’t taken us up on it, but we’ll continue to text her each night to let her know she’s invited.

Our thanks to all of you. We are very close to recovering all the “first wave” of Duraye’s moving and living costs so far ($2,840); all but three of the nine of us have sent checks, which is greatly appreciated. You were all so generous. Thank you!

FYI…Stayner insisted on contributing something, but I’ve tried to discourage him because he has some huge medical bills hanging over him. He did mention, though, that most will be covered by insurance. Of course, 20% or even 5% of his doctor bills will still be astronomical.

I was going to send out an email asking you to forward to your families, encouraging everyone to reach out to her. I even hinted to her that she may start getting contacted by family. She’s OK with it, but on second thought this is a marathon, not a sprint. A “blitz” of well wishes from the family would be nice but short-lived. She’s really quite busy right now trying to get her arms around her new place and life. Too many well-wishes may just hobble her from getting some things done. For instance, Madelyn is with her today before she leaves for Utah. So instead I recommend our small group reaches out to her as often as you feel comfortable to see how she’s doing and if there’s anything we can do (as a family, not individuals) to help. Maybe around holiday time would be a better time for the family to remember her…and hopefully we can encourage some families in the Valley to reach out to her to join them for their family gatherings, as Myreel suggested. A wonderful suggestion!

I hope this is helpful. I’ll stay in touch.

Love,

Crismon & Vivienne

Letter to Duraye's new bishp

8 September 2016

Bishop Horsley,

Thank you for taking my call today. 

I don’t want to dump too much on you. We appreciate so much any help your ward can give in making our sister, Duraye Lewis, feel welcomed in your ward. Our greatest hope, of course, is that your efforts and the family support will help her find her way back into the Church and the joy of living the gospel.

As I mentioned earlier, not only is she not a member of the Church, but she has a DUI on her record (she has an Interlock on her car), has had a hard time keeping a job and, for the first time in years, is on her own…and so quite lonely. We hope your ward can help fill the vacuum to a certain extent before she drifts back into old habits and/or old friends. 

I don’t say that to place pressure on you, but just want you to feel a bit of the urgency we are feeling as a family inasmuch as she has allowed us, for the first time in a long time, to help her get on her own and make somewhat of a “fresh start.”

As I mentioned, she was raised in an extremely active LDS family (all 12 of us…now 10 living...were all born and raised in Arizona). Sadly, she got sideways with the Church, has struggled with addictions, has been mostly less-active after her divorce and excommunication at least 20 years ago, but has stayed in touch with the family.. Just recently she has begun to make some positive turns (such as allowing us to move her into her own apartment last weekend) and we’re anxious to work closely with you in helping those baby steps continue.

It was a joy to discover that we may have a number of established connections within your ward, especially Paul Gilbert and family.

Besides helping Duraye find a friend to help go with her to ward and stake activities and assigning home and/or visiting teachers, we would like to ask if, after meeting with her, you would consider helping her with welfare assistance. The other 9 children in our family…all active members, two are stake presidents…are working together to get her established in her new apartment in your ward ($2.8K so far and counting :) Because she’s unemployed, she’s pretty much penniless. She is actively looking for employment and we’re doing all that we can to help her with her resume and networking with friends. We hope your ward or stake can also help in this effort.

There are two reasons we hope you will consider helping her with welfare assistance, even though we recognize she’s not a member of the Church:

1) She’s pretty much destitute with ongoing bills (needed so she can look for work)…and the family resources are starting to get strained, though we’ve committed to support her apartment cost for up to a year @ $950 per month plus utilities; but even more importantly...

2) to put her in a position to be accountable to you or someone on your ward council. In other words, you’re so much closer to her geographically and contact-wise than any family member (her closest siblings live in the distant Arizona communities of Thatcher, Ajo and Kingman). We feel if she’s on your “welfare rolls” she’s not as likely to fall through the cracks (since you won’t have her on any membership rolls) and hopefully you can put her to work on a regular basis cleaning the chapel or working on Indexing…or something...so she receives assistance with dignity but is also accountable to someone for her service “payments."

So far the family has paid…$2,841 to get her into a home as per the following:

$2,150 for 2 payments @ $950 + $250 cleaning deposit

$100 for credit checks on Duraye and a sibling

$250 for utilities

$146 for cell phone bill

$195 for fuel, groceries, incidentals

Some of her current bills that need payment by Sept 20 or so are:

$300 car rental (through a friend, who buys-sells cars)

$34 car insurance (through the same friend)

$89 Interlock device mandated by the courts

$50 court fee

We’re hoping that the ward would consider helping with these four bills, if possible, but we’re committed as a family do whatever we can to help. We’ve encouraged her to seek government food assistance (food stamps), but maybe she would qualify to receive a storehouse order, too.

Please know we feel badly that we’re placing her on your “doorstep,” so to speak, but we have all seen the blessing a ward family can be in the lives of those, who are working their way back. Our prayers are that she will find employment soon, so as not to be a financial burden on the family or the church, yet appreciate the family and church’s efforts to help and thus soften her heart enough to desire re-baptism and the blessings of Heaven again.

We appreciate so much your willingness to consider this approach from our family. I’ll be happy to visit more when it’s good for you.

Gratefully,

Crismon & Vivienne Lewis

Gresham, OR

503-667-5843 H

503-914-8689 M

P.S. I give you permission to forward this email (or excerpts) to other ward leaders, as you see fit to help share the “load", asking only that this be kept confidential as much as possible. As you well know, people respond better when they don’t think they’re a “project."

Plan for family members to contribute to Duraye's move

1 September 2016

Dear family,

You were so kind to respond to our last email about wanting to help our sister Duraye. We are so gratified to see such an outpouring from all of you, even those who are struggling financially. Everyone wanted to help her even though she has burned some bridges with some in the family over the years.

Your commitment to contribute to a fund to help Duraye get on her own has given Vivienne and I the encouragement to move forward.

We are pleased to report significant progress. Each step of the way we have worked with Myreel, Corwin, and especially Delon and Durelle, who have always been the closest to Duraye.

Here is our quick report on the three objectives spelled out in our original email on August 19:

1. EXPRESS OUR LOVE AND SUPPORT FOR HER: As I reported to you on August 20, Duraye was deeply touched that the family had come together and made a financial commitment to help her move out of her apartment and into an apartment, in hopes of making a fresh start in many ways. With that encouragement and support, she began looking aggressively for an apartment.

2. LOCATE A MODEST APARTMENT IN A DECENT, SECURE AREA FOR RENT UNDER $1,000 PER MONTH: Duraye located a 2BR, 1Ba apartment in a small complex near downtown Scottsdale that she felt comfortable with. The rent is $950 per month. We have since co-signed the lease, turned on the electricity and, in fact, she moves in this Saturday, Sept 4, thanks to “muscle help” from cousins Nelson, Alvin Jace and Buddy.

Duraye’s new address is:

6906 E. 4th Street, #5

Scottsdale, AZ 85206

602-348-2373 M

It all came together very quickly and it’s especially nice so many family members are gathering in the Valley this same weekend to attend the BYU-UofA football game in Glendale. They’ll all be there to help her make the transition and celebrate her new start.

3. HELP HER CONNECT WITH THE CHURCH: We have identified that she will be living in the Arcadia Ward boundaries in the Scottsdale Camelback Stake. I have spoken personally to her bishop, Bishop William Horsley, and hopefully they’ll wrap their arms around her and help her make changes in her life that will bring her true joy again.

THE FAMILY COMMITMENT

Unfortunately, Duraye is pretty much penniless (with some debt) and unemployed, which means family support was essential to move forward.

Our hope was that we could help her with a combined commitment of $1,000 or so per month for three months. You responded accordingly, for which we are most grateful. Several offered to send more, if needed, recognizing that there are many unexpected, up-front costs with getting into a new place.

We personally co-signed a one-year lease on the apartment and have personally funded all additional costs.

The up-front housing costs came in at $2,608. She also has a $145 cell phone bill/debt that needs to be paid to retain her service so she can continue to look for employment, so the grand total of up-front costs is $2,753.

See below for the details on how this amount was reached. Fortunately, the landlords didn’t require a first-and-last monthly payment, but they did hit us with a $950 refundable security deposit, which caused the up-front costs to rocket to the $2,753.

This will take her through September. On October 1, there will be another $950 monthly rental fee drawn from our personal checking account each month. Our hope is Duraye will land a job soon so she can begin reimbursing us for her rent. You’ll remember that we all committed to providing the housing support for at least three months.

Fortunately, the only utilities cost is electricity (water, sewer, trash are part of the rental). So besides the rental and electricity each month, her out-of-pocket will be her living expenses, including car, auto insurance, gasoline, phone, food and other obligations (including debt payments) which total $600-$800 per month.

Our hope is that she can get a job soon and the Church will provide some assistance to help tie her over until she gets a job.

YOUR CONTRIBUTION

Thank you again for making a commitment to help. We had hoped it would be closer to $50 or $100 per family, but warned that we may need a “double payment" up front, which is what happened.

There are nine of us participating in this. If we divided the first-month cost of $2,753 by 9 = about $306 each.

All we ask is that you make the “double payment” contribution that you committed to. If you can pay more, that’s great. But do not feel obligated to do so. Several families offered to pay more, if needed.

If, by chance, we receive more funds than needed immediately, all surplus will be applied to future monthly contributions. We will notify you no later than Sept. 20 what is needed for October.

HOW TO MAKE YOUR CONTRIBUTION

As we mentioned, we have made all payments so far from our personal funds. So contributions are to come to us directly.

Here are options for making your payment:

• Send a check in the mail:

Please make out the check to Vivienne and mail to:

Vivienne Lewis

1121 SW 10th Dr.

Gresham, OR  97080

• Bill-pay from your bank

Have it sent as per above.

• Paypal: 

Send to lewis.reliv@gmail.com

You can set up your paypal account with a credit card, or have it linked to your bank account. If you pay with a credit card, you will be charged 2.9% + 30 cents. There is no transaction fee for payments made from your bank account.

• Google Wallet:

Send to: cvlewis@gmail.com

Similar to Paypal. It is easy to download the app on your mobile device or go to Google Wallet on your computer. You cannot use a credit card, but you can set it up with your bank account or debit card. 

Thank you so much for coming together as a family in trying to help our sister. Our hope is that our united and combined generous response will touch her heart in a new way that will ultimately lead to her drawing closer to the Lord and to us.

If you have any questions, please contact us: 503-667-5843 H, 503-914-8689 Crismon cell, 503-927-0647 Vivienne cell.

Love,

Crismon & Vivienne

DETAIL OF FIRST-MONTH, UP-FRONT COSTS:

$2,150 for 1-month rent $950, a refundable $950 security deposit and a non-refundable $250 cleaning deposit

$100 rental application fee (for credit approval @ $50 for both Crismon and Duraye)

$23 for processing and shipping of cashiers’ check to landlord

$250 refundable Arizona Public Service start-up fee; first bill due in October

$85 for moving expenses (U-Haul rental, mileage, fees, and gas) - thank you Nelson & team!

Total moving costs: $2,608

Also urgent $145 for cell phone due 9/7

GRAND TOTAL: $2,753

Another email about the family's attempts to help Duraye

31 August 2016

Dear Myreel, Corwin, Delon and Durelle...

I wanted you to be aware that Durelle had a long visit with Olivia on Monday night. Durelle called me last night on her way to California, I believe, to report on the visit. It was not good.

Olivia and Jeffery went on for hours telling Durelle a sordid saga of years of deceptions, lyings, addictions, self-destructing behaviors, etc. Their bottom line: Duraye doesn’t need an apartment on her own, she needs intervention…to be checked into an addiction recovery facility. It was heart-breaking. Feel free to call Durelle, if you want the details.

It, of course, raises the questions: are we doing the right thing? do we keep going?

Legally, we’re (or at least, I’m) committed. I’ve signed the lease, which begins tomorrow. The salt in the wound: the landlords didn’t require a first and last payment, but they did require a refundable security deposit that’s equivalent to a month’s rent ($950). So it’s the same thing, for which I’m deeply sorry that I didn’t ask the “right question” when asking abut the terms. So the up-front cost of this move is going to be a bit painful (about $2,700). I’ll send you details soon.

Let me confess to you that I don’t know that we’re doing the right thing. But I don’t see any other viable options.

For instance, while intervention is what may be needed, there’s no way we can force her into doing it. Things won’t change until Duraye decides she’s weary of her sad and miserable life—when she cries out from the depth of her heart for help…help from God and from those who love her most. So are we enabling her sad and miserable life by what we’re doing? It’s certainly a risk.

One option is, of course, to let her drown and hit that horrible rock bottom…penniless, maybe on the street, maybe suicidal (she carries a weapon…crazy, but she does).

Despite the long and sordid saga Durelle painted for me last night, I will tell you that I continue to believe we’re on the right path. I may be delusional and naive. If so, I can only ask your forgiveness. But here’s how I look at it.

Here’s what makes this time different…and maybe brings us hope.

Until now our picture of Duraye has come from lots of different sources—our own personal experiences, each of our siblings dealings' with her, her children, occasionally friends, telling us about her deceit and troubles. Duraye has tried to play us against each other and many of us have quietly slipped her cash in a moment of sympathy…cash, for all we know, that was likely used for feeding addictions.

So, for the first time, we are united as a family in taking action to address Duraye. Instead of threatening her (as she may deserve), we’re showing her mercy. We’re trusting in her. If she burns the same bridge she has burned with several in the family, who have reached out to her or who have been “used” by her, she now knows she’s burning the bridge with the entire family. There will be no one else, in her sphere of those who care and love her, to turn to for rescue or to be deceived.

Secondly, we now have the influence of the Church to help us. That was never fully available because Duraye, as a non-member co-habitating, caused the bishop’s hands to be tied. Hopefully, if we work closely with Duraye’s bishop, HP Group leader, Relief Society president, home and visiting teachers, we will find out within a few months if Duraye is making any attempts to change…to start a new life.

Yes, she can pull the wool over the bishop’s eyes…and others…but, in time, her attendance at church, her willingness to meet with the bishop, her willingness to receive home and visiting teachers, her willingness to serve (where non-members can serve) when asked, will tell us if there’s a ray of hope being kindled in our sister’s life.

For the first time, she will now be accountable to the family and to the Church. Hopefully she’ll figure out that such accountability cannot be faked forever and the true Duraye will be made known to us and, more importantly, to her.

While this is going to be expensive to all of us, I personally believe it’s our only hope that somehow our merciful actions plus her connecting again with the Church will allow a spark of repentance to be kindled and fanned so that she will ultimately cry out for help. It’s then, and only then, will she be open to receiving the professional help that none of us can provide, but is available through intervention services.

In all of this, I have had in my mind an image of facing Dad and Mom some day and telling them how much I love Duraye and that we did everything...even if it cost me dearly financially…to keep her with us.

If you feel we are going in the wrong direction, please know I understand if you choose not to participate in what’s happening. You have all been so supportive and encouraging and I can’t tell you how grateful I am for that. I, too, despair over all of this and find myself crying out for help. Thank you for not giving up on her…or me.

Love,

Crismon

P.S. We serve in the temple on Wednesdays so I will not be available to respond to any emails until this evening.

A follow-up letter to the family about our sister Duraye

Dear Delon, Durelle, Myreel and Corwin…

Thank you for your counsel and concerns about what is our next step in helping Duraye.

Let me share some feelings that I believe are overarching on everything we’re talking about here. Our discussion has suddenly turned from “how do we help Duraye because we love her” to “how do we rehabilitate Duraye because she’s a problem.” Please, I ask you not to allow our discussion to go there. 

Here’s why…

As we have all learned, one of the most divisive (if not THE most divisive) issues that can destroy relationships…especially between parents and children (including God and His children, for that matter)…is the lack of trust. 

That, of course, is why children get grounded or restricted in the parent-child relationship. But as children grow to adulthood, as parents, we must find ways to develop and nurture trust or we run the risk there will be no relationship. 

Duraye has broken trust with her family by her poor choices so now some of the consequences are falling upon us. We naturally resent that and sometimes think of her more as a child than our sister. 

On the other hand, we have broken trust with Duraye because we have withheld our love and support because we feel it’s our duty to judge and even “fix” her.

In short, we should not have an expectation that she’ll know how or even the desire to restore our trust. But, with the gospel perspective, the Lord expects us to restore trust with our sister so ultimately she’ll trust God.

In other words, in my opinion, we must not dictate or demand that she do anything differently to please us. We help her because we love her…she is our sister…and we trust she will make correct choices. That is not easy for us to accept when she’s broken our trust and our hearts over the years.

Still, just as the Lord’s merciful hand is constantly outstretched to us, we will win her trust again if we will learn to trust her. 

So, what does this all mean… (please forgive me for preaching)

We must set aside our fears that Duraye will go back to Mike...that Scottsdale will only lead to more evil...that she’ll never get or keep a job…that she can’t change unless she moves far away.

She needs to know we trust her and do not expect her to make any changes to please us. She needs to know that we will help her the best we can however much we can for as long as we can…because we love her, she is our sister! (Each of us must decide for ourselves how much and how long that is for each of us personally.)

We rejoice that she has chosen to leave Mike…after 16 years of a dead-end relationship. Please, let’s not try to direct her or insist that she go anywhere. Once we try to dictate where she must go, in her mind she becomes “our child…our project” and just another object of the “Lewis Family Rehabilitation Program” (her words) as she has seen most, if not all of us over the years, send some of our children to live with another family in hopes of correcting behavior.

I have asked Duraye, recognizing that both of her daughters are going to be in Utah by this January, if that is attractive at all to her. Would she like to find an apartment (or even possibly stay free with family) in Utah instead of Arizona? For a number of reasons, even though they may not make sense to us and may raise fears that she won’t change, she has no interest in going to Utah. She feels at home in Arizona and wants to remain here regardless of her daughters’ location. I trust her judgment that she’s making the right choice for herself.

So now we’re back to how do we help her break from Mike, get on her own, get stable financially, and ultimately get connected with a bishop?

We have two options that I can see right now:

1. We help her get into the apartment in Scottsdale. It’s a good apartment…not fancy but not run down…and it stays within the $1,000 / month budget that I asked her to stay within. She’s afraid to be alone, but she likes the apartment and the setting (it appears to be a safe neighborhood). Our natural reaction is: Hey, beggars can’t be  choosers. I don’t feel she’s being abusive of our generosity. She is very grateful to the family and feels badly that she has placed us in this position of having to rescue her…again. I don’t feel we should abuse her willingness to make a fresh start by requiring her to live in a dump. We want her to know that we desire for her to get a fresh start in a decent place.

The drawback is that there are no apartments…at least, decent apartments…that allow renters to pay month-to-month without a first-year lease. Fortunately, in this case they are not requiring a first and last payment, which is not uncommon.

Frankly, we don’t even know that she will qualify for this apartment…or for any apartment, for that matter. She has no current employment, a week employment history and a misdemeanor criminal record. Without a co-signer, she is trapped and may never be able to break.

Co-signing is a big risk, without a doubt. But a willingness on our part to co-sign sends her a HUGE message that we trust she will eventually get a good job where she can totally support herself in time….along with the Church’s help, her family's help and the Lord’s merciful hand.

If this is the option we choose, I need to pay the qualifying fee of $100 immediately so they can run credit and personal checks on both Duraye and me, as the co-signer ($50 per screening) and hold the apartment until the owner decides whether or not to accept Duraye.

The second option…

2. If the above is too much for us to swallow, then another option is for Duraye and Madelyn to stay in the apartment (yes, with Mike) for another few months. She and Mike are friends, but not romantic. In fact, Mike somewhat detests Duraye and tells her he hopes she’ll move. In her opinion, Mike wants to be a hermit. So she is a heart-broken, spurned woman and has no desire to stay, but Mike is decent to her and she is surviving on that tiny, sliver of security.

The plan would be to have Duraye stay in the apartment (Mike is picking up the rent, Duraye helps when she can) until the end of December, at which time Madelyn will leave for Utah (if she still plans to leave by then) and Duraye would move into an apartment somewhere in the Valley (I have tried to encourage her to find a place close to the freeway so she can get to a job most anywhere in the Valley). Hopefully by then she’d have a job to help her make the break or, if not, we, as family, hopefully would be willing to help her as best as we can as per option #1.

If she remains in the apartment with Mike for the next four months, there are several downsides: (1) we/she can’t seek church assistance, (2) there’s the chance she’ll give up and change her mind, and (3) she’ll still need immediate family assistance (she is destitute with debt)...if we’re willing to provide it under the status of co-habitating (I realize that’s going to be a hard pill to swallow for some, if not all).

Fortunately, her current living expenses are not exorbitant. They include:

$300 / month auto rental from Jordan, Madelyn’s old boyfriend who “flips” cars and as been very generous to Duraye to help her; otherwise, with her record, she’d be hard pressed to get a car; she obviously needs a car to seek and fulfill employment

$34 / month for auto insurance

$120 / month for phone (we know this is expensive, but her previous employer required it and now Duraye can’t get out from under it for a while)

$88 / month for the Interlock device on the car she must rent or lease so she can drive

$80 / month for the storage unit that she and Mike share ($160 / mo)

I’ve encouraged her to apply for food stamps (she didn’t know she’d qualify), which she is doing. So with other incidental living expenses, she can stay above water with assistance from the family of $600 / month…until she can land a job at which time the family assistance would no longer be needed…recognizing that we may be looking at implementing Option #1 in January, if she doesn’t have steady employment by then or can’t qualify to get into her own apartment.

I’m open to any other options you want to explore. I only ask that everything we do sends a signal to her that we love her and trust her…that we are willing to do all that we can, however long we can, so she’ll know—as never before—that we love her, trust her and we want to be family with her.

I hope this helps,

Crismon

A personal letter to the family asking for financial aid to help Duraye get on her own

18 August 2016

Dear Family,

Most, if not all, are aware that our sister Duraye continues to struggle in life. She has struggled to find and keep good employment. Living the gospel has not been easy for her either. In the process, she has broken trust with many in the family, which has created its own set of relationship challenges. 

In the past those struggles were placed on Mother, when she was with us, and more often than not on the wonderful Peases, who have an amazing gift for loving and caring for those with burdens—literally a lifelong ministry!

Due to some of their own family challenges last fall, Delon and others in the family asked that Vivienne and I, because of our ongoing relationship with Duraye in Reliv, serve as a conduit of sorts for the family to be a listening ear for Duraye and help where possible. 

We have tried to stay close to her over the past 10 months through phone and text. 

While her life is filled with more sorrow and loneliness than joy, thankfully Duraye loves her family and wants to be with us. However, when she distances herself through her actions and sometimes words, it's not easy for us to jump in and rescue her. And when we do help her, we understandably worry that we're enabling her to continue making poor choices. 

Our natural response is to say to her: “Duraye, just live the gospel and life will bring happiness." While that's easy to feel and say for those who live the gospel, it is a steep uphill climb full of fears, pitfalls and even suffocating feelings of guilt for those who have stayed away for so long. 

What I'm saying is that I feel we need to accept Duraye where she is. I'm not suggesting that we condone poor choices or inappropriate behaviors, but that we help her as best we can without holding her to a standard of behavior or an expectation she will change any time soon. 

In other words, she is our sister and we love and care for her not because of her conduct but because she is family. She is us and we are her. As the gospel teaches us, we are all unworthy beneficiaries of a loving, merciful Heavenly Father and His family plan. 

The greatest need Duraye has right now is to live on her own. In the past, she has not wanted to move. Now she does. She and Mike have "broken up" but are trapped in the same home because neither can carry the full financial load of their shared apartment in Mesa 

After visiting with Durelle and Delon and a few others, we are in agreement that the timing is good right now to help her get out of her apartment. We don't believe Mike will move, so our best option is to help Duraye move out, which we believe she can do without any financial penalty or repercussion. 

Unfortunately, this week she lost her latest job so she has no resources to move. Therefore we are recommending that the family come to her aid. 

We are asking all, who desire to participate, to commit $50 or $100 per month for at least three months. We hope those who feel they can commit more will do so inasmuch as it is difficult to get into a decent apartment in today's market for much less than $1,000 per month. Due to the common practice of requiring first and last month payments to get into an apartment, we may need to ask that the first month is a two-month payment of either $100 or $200, depending on what you feel you can afford. 

Duraye is working hard to get good jobs and to keep them. As you know, her track record in keeping a job has not been encouraging, but there are usually sales jobs out there and she's good at that. Our hope is that she will be able to catch her breath financially in the next three months so she can eventually support herself. 

Frankly, there's a decent chance she will refuse our offer.  She is fiercely independent and prides herself in being a "survivor."

Nonetheless, assuming we get family support and she's willing, the plan is to do the following:

1. Explain to Duraye, even this weekend if possible, what the family desires to do. No strings attached. We simply want to help her in this hour of need, just as she we would do for any of us if the roles were reversed...because this is what families do. 

2. Ask her to locate a reasonably priced apartment and give us the terms so we'll know the up-front and ongoing obligations.

3. Then identify her ward and bishop. I would contact the bishop personally and explain the situation (to what extent the family is able to cover rent  for the immediate future) to see if the ward would be willing to help make up the difference to give Duraye the security for at least three months (or sooner, if possible) to get on her feet and take on the full responsibility of paying for her own housing. Above all, we want her to know that her family and church care enough that we are here as her "safety net."

We feel the tie to the Church via rent or living assistance creates an important connection so Duraye isn't forgotten by her bishop and she will have reason to connect with him on a regular basis. 

Duraye is not a freeloader. She does not feel an entitlement to receive assistance. To her credit, despite her ongoing financial crises, she does not want or look for handouts. I feel strongly if she even accepts our offer, she will not abuse it. 

All of you are likely aware that Mother left an inheritance that she has willed to the Church. While it would seem reasonable to parcel some of those funds for this cause, legally it's impossible and it's important that Duraye understands our offer does not come without sacrifice from the family, a sacrifice we're happy to shoulder because we love her. 

So what do we do if she can't get on her feet within the next three months? I don't know except we will surely do all we can to keep helping her...we are family…while seeking guidance and counsel from Duraye's new bishop. 

In the meantime, she needs our continued prayers and she could use any employment leads or suggestions.

Finally, may I say it's important we understand this is not an "investment" in Duraye. We should have no false hopes or expectations that a different Duraye will come from all of this. We do this because we love her, not with the expectation she will change  to meet our standard of behavior. But just getting her into her own apartment may allow her to feel the Spirit of the Lord in her home again, which, as we all know, is the key for all of us to change, to become the person the Lord desires us to become. 

Will you please reply to this email in two ways...

1. Reply to ALL with questions, concerns or suggestions. All are welcomed. 

2. Reply privately to me with the financial commitment you are willing to make for the next three months so I can explain to the bishop what we can do as a family. 

Or, if any of you would prefer to discuss this personally, feel free to call me at 503-914-8689. 

Thank you for giving this your consideration.

Love,

Crismon & Vivienne

In response to President Paul Hansen, first counselor in the stake presidency, feelings about calling on leaders and members to bear testimony during quorum or group meetings

2 August 2016

Paul,

Thank you for sharing your feelings about having outgoing and incoming quorum leaders (and even members) share their testimonies during quorum meetings. You are a wonderful advocate for teaching doctrine and the gospel in quorum meetings…and making sure there is adequate time for instructors to teach. Thank you for speaking up on this subject often!

While I appreciate the importance of quorum instruction, too, I feel quite strongly about the importance of having quorum leaders and members bear testimony in the quorum or group meeting even at the expense of quorum instruction. For multiple reasons:

1) I want quorum members to hear the strength and depth of their quorum (group) leaders’ testimonies;

2) I want all to know that bearing of testimony is an important element of our discipleship and leadership, especially in the latter days;

3) I want quorum members to bear their testimonies because it has a way of helping those who sometimes sit back in ward testimony meetings to share their feelings, some for the first time in a long time;

4) I want the leaders to appreciate that the bearing of testimonies in the quorum setting creates unity.

The drawback, of course, is that we usually don’t have any lesson and the person, who prepared the lesson, feels slighted…for which I regret very much.

So going forward, will you please take the responsibility to make sure that when we know there is going to be a leadership change that the quorum or group leader and instructor know that the stake presidency may take up most, if not the entire, meeting time; that we plan to call on the outgoing and incoming leaders, and maybe some quorum members, to bear testimony? 

Feel free to assign this to the assigned high councilor. What I want to avoid is anyone’s feelings getting hurt because they prepared a lesson and didn’t have the opportunity to present it. So please help them be aware so they prepare a very short lesson, if possible, and know that there may not be time for any lesson at all.

Because of our schedule last Sunday, will you please plan to attend the High Priest Group in Estacada this Sunday and conduct a brief testimony meeting at the beginning of the Group meeting calling on the members of the outgoing Group leadership and then the incoming leadership to bear their testimonies. It will be an idea time for you to express again the stake presidencies gratitude. If you feel so directed, you may call on others in the Group to share their testimony. Please ask Brother Baird to prepare the lesson time accordingly. (I realize the Estacada HP meeting will end at the same time we go into the Tickle Creek HP reorganization. We are happy to excuse you from the TC meeting and give Brother Franklin or the new Group leader an opportunity to set apart one of the assistants.)

Please invite Brother James Anderson to attend with you and invite him, also, to share his testimony as a way for the Group to get acquainted with him. While you’re at it, please advise Bishop Hawkins of the HC assignment change that Bro Anderson is now replacing Bro Yates so he can properly recognize him in sacrament meeting this Sunday.

I realize this bearing of testimony during the quorum meeting is not a Handbook-approved “policy.” But, as you know, there are a number of policies and practices in our stake (and in most stakes, I assume) that are traditions or preferences, not Handbook-approved.

One that you’re very familiar with is the practice of bishopric members leaving the stand during the closing hymn to greet members at the door, which is now being practiced in at least two wards in our stake. 

While this is not Handbook-approved, I have not wanted to stop it because I want to give the bishops the flexibility to do what they feel appropriate to help them in their efforts to connect with ward members.

However, if a General Authority were to spend some time in our stake, I’m confident that this practice would be ended immediately for two reasons:

1) It causes the presiding authority to leave the stand, even though it’s only for a few minutes;

2) It sends a signal to members, especially children, that it’s OK to leave your seat during the meeting and go (what appears to be) outside the chapel.

I apologize for making this such an issue, but I sense you feel very strongly about the importance of not taking quorum-group meeting time for testimonies instead of gospel teaching. While I value your counsel tremendously, it’s important that you know I do not share your passion on this subject.

I will be happy to address this with you personally. And I hope that I have not offended you in the least. If so, please forgive me. You are a tremendous “right hand man” in the stake presidency and I appreciate very, very much the countless hours you put in to support me personally and to move forward the Lord’s work in our stake.

With love and gratitude for your continuing efforts to bless our stake,

Crismon

Brief thoughts about parenting of teenagers beginning to make worrisome choices

20 July 2016

Written to a bishop following our stewardship interview:

Bishop,

Thank you for visiting with me last night. Some of the feelings you expressed as we ended our visit have stayed with me. At the risk of preaching, I felt this morning in my private devotions that it might be beneficial to share a few thoughts.

I don’t pretend to have the answers on how to help teenagers…or their parents...when they begin to worry us with their choices. The natural tendency is to restrict, to hover, to “supervise.”

I would caution against that, especially if we’re talking about a 17-year-old. Just as it’s natural for us to restrict or hover, it’s natural for teens being restricted to pull back and even become resentful.

A great place for parents to begin when discussing on how to address these worries is to review what we know about our Heavenly Father (parents) and the relationship He so deftly nurtures with His children. It’s a wonderful study to identify some of His "parenting techniques."

You’ll notice at the top of His list are agency (trust), charity or love (unconditional), responsibility (accountability).

Finally, He leads by example. Giving priority in our busy schedules to consistently having family prayer, family scripture study and FHE all provide so much more influence in the lives of our children in making righteous choices than we’ll ever know. When our parenting worries increase, the answer may be to increase our consistency of family devotions.

The Church also offers lots of helpful insights and ideas for parents on how to address the concerns you are having. A suggestion might be to go to lds.org and search for topics like “Helping teens stay strong,” “Helping teens make right choices,” “Helping without hovering,” etc.

I hope this is helpful. Please know the last thing I want to do is “hover” over you. You and Dana are wonderful parents! So feel no obligation to follow this counsel and know that it is shared out of love for you and your family. I remember those anxious moments as a parent when you see your children begin to make choices you know can have painful consequences. The Lord will honor you and your sweet wife for the goodness and faithfulness in your home to say nothing of the marvelous devotion you both give in your callings.

We are so grateful for the blessing you and your family are to us personally as well as to our stake.

Crismon

Restrictions for calling temple workers

19 July 2016

Bishops,

Thank you for continuing to recommend members of your ward to serve as temple workers. There continues to be a great need at the temple and the temple presidency is very grateful when we submit recommendations. What a blessing it is also in the lives of so many in our stake!

As you know, any endowed member who has been subject to formal church discipline within the past 5 years is not eligible to serve as a temple worker. That means 5 years from the day the church discipline was resolved or removed.

The same guideline applies to those who have been divorced. The 5-year clock starts from the date the divorce took effect.

As for this latter guideline, I’m embarrassed to confess that I had forgotten this part and have actually suggested to a member that there was no divorce restriction. I will correct it with her. I share this so you and I don’t cause embarrassing (even painful) situations for those who have been divorced.

By the way, the above guidelines apply for both ordinance workers and veil workers. But they do not apply for volunteers (grounds, clothing, cafeteria, etc.).

Thank you again for continuing to encourage eligible members to serve in the temple.

I hope this is helpful.

President Lewis

P.S. One other reminder: while we can certainly discuss the blessings of temple service and even ascertain a member’s interest in serving, we are not to “call” or even tell members we are submitting a recommendation for them to be called as a temple worker. Acting upon recommendations and extending calls is handled solely under the keys of the temple presidency.

Catholic leaders join us for lunch at our stake center

One of the enjoyable events in the summer of 2015 was hosting our friends Mary Hay and Connie Ostlund. They were leaders at the St Henry's Catholic Church in Gresham. Mary oversaw the St Vincent de Paul food pantry and homeless feeding program while Connie was the director of all Catholic studies and curriculum at St Henry's. They were sincerely interested in our faith so Vivienne and I hosted them on July 16, 2016 for lunch at the stake center. We ate in the high council room and then gave them a tour of the building. Connie was perceptive as she said, upon entering the chapel, I can see your church puts emphasis on speaking (pulpit) and music (choir loft). It was a delight to introduce them to the church in this way.

Bishops Storehouse average order and welfare assistance instructions

12 July 2016

Bishops,

I congratulate you. All of you are very prudent about using the Lord’s food assistance program via the Bishop’s Storehouse.

I receive a report each month from the Bishop’s Storehouse showing me how many orders are placed and their value. The needs vary significantly. For instance, the number of food orders vary from one ward generating a total of 14 orders up through May of this year and another ward only two orders in all of 2016 so far.

So it’s not wise to compare between wards. 

It’s also not fair to compare the average value per order because the family dynamics and demographics of those receiving assistance vary dramatically. But I’m going to list for you the average value of food orders for each ward so far in 2016 just to give you an idea of how we’re doing in our stake. 

If this is hurtful in any way, please let me know and forgive me. My hope is this will give you some perspective on how you’re doing in relation to others. In my opinion, all of you are doing great and are being very prudent in your judgment…for which I am most grateful.

Average food order value thru May 2016:

Damascus - $108

Estacada - $191

Powell Valley - $220

Sandy River - $166

Tickle Creek - $121

Walters Hill - $224

If any of you were into the $300 average per order, I’d be concerned. But you’re not even close. Thank you again for being wise stewards of the Lord’s funds and commodities. Please pass along my thanks to your ward Relief Society presidents and others you’re involving in placing these orders.

May I remind you that it’s appropriate for you to involve members of the Ward Council in creating and holding accountable service opportunities for those who receive assistance. You are not breaking confidence by using the Ward Council to administer welfare assistance. If helpful, please explain this to the members when counseling with them about receiving assistance.

Also, please be careful that we don’t appear to be like other institutions giving handouts freely. All who receive Church assistance, either financially or with commodities, should be expected and held accountable to give some measure of service so they accept the assistance with dignity and have a way to express gratitude (confidentially) for the generous offerings of fellow members.

Gratefully,

President Lewis